To not be okay
by Kris10rox
Summary: When Jude gets raped and everything starts to fall apart, How will she handle it? Especially when her rapist is her mom's new boyfriend...TJ! R&R I'm not great with summaries
1. Chapter 1 Broken

**A/n - Hey yall..this is my first fanfic heh, I'm an obsessed instant star fan hehe and I hope you enjoy my story..Please review and tell me if you do like it so I wont feel like an idiot and that no one is interested, dont be too harsh:)**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant star or any of the characters but I do own these poems/songs.**

**To not be okay - takes place after "Miss world"**

**Chapter 1 - Broken**

_'Tommy and Sadie are together...mom and dad are fighting for rights over me ..I dont know what to do anymore everything is so messed up'_

"You caressed me in your open arms of fear. " Jude sang with more emotion than she ever had before, ending the song.

"Jude, it was amazing..I think you just finished the song." Tommy finally spoke.

"Thanks.." Jude smiled and whiped the tears away from her eyes, just realizing she was being watched.

Tommy walked through the entrance and closed the door. He walked over to her and put the palm of his hand up to her cheek, holding her face gently.

"Girl, are you alright? you havent looked good lately." He asked almost in a whisper. She wanted to throw her arms around him and tell him everything that was bothering her and just cry into his chest until the liquid wouldn't flow anymore but instead..

"Thanks for the compliment tommy," She smiled slightly knowing tommy didnt mean it that way and before he could defend his statement she continued,"Yeah..yeah i'm fine heh..you know its just with this whole thing with darius and the studio and this new place," she paused and looked around her new studio, "Its just getting to me I guess." She failed to tell him the rest..the part that was hurting her the most.

"Well always remember i'm here if you need to talk..and i'm sorry about sneaking up on you like that..just thought I'd see what you were working on, I heard music so I let myself in."

"Well i'm glad to see you, as always tommy you know that," She smiled slightly at the thought of him, "Besides you promised me if the door was ever locked-"

"I'd kick it down." He finished her sentence and smiled at her warmly.

"So..where's sadie?" Jude asked, getting up and putting her guitar on one of the many couches in her new place.

"She went somewhere with your mom." He said, also getting up and walking towards the door.

"Oh.." She suddenly got very quiet as tears started to dwell in her eyes but she turned her face from tommy so he wouldnt notice.

"You sure you're ok jude?" He asked once more. He wanted to help her..he hated to see her sad like this.

"Yeah i'm fine." She managed to let out without her voice cracking and without her facing him.

"Then I guess i'm gonna head out..call me if you need me." And with that he left.

Jude once more, whiped the tears from her eyes and looked around her new studio. She was there alone since spiederman was on a mini tour that lasted about a week and since when the tour started she lost her voice she decided to stay at home and write lyrics..though now she wished she would've went. If only she would've known she would have gotten her voice back so soon.

Jude finally got up and walked over to the stereo and turned on some music to help her get her mind off things. After doing this she started walking back over to the couch but she heard footsteps coming towards the entrance which made her stop and look over. There was a tall man in his mid-20's who looked very muscular and very scrungy.

"Well well well..I cant believe what i'm seeing..Jude harrison." He started towards her.

"Um..yeah thats m-me" She stuttered, backing up a little.

"So its true, you're out of the studio, huh?" He smiled viciously.

"Where did you hear that?" Jude asked deffensively.

"Doesnt matter, fact is its true." He pushed her up against the wall.

Jude didnt notice she had walked back so far.

"W-what do you want from me?" She asked, trying to push him off of her.

"You know..I always did have a thing for young blondes." He began kissing her neck.

She was still struggling to get him off of her but he was just too strong.

"Dont do this" She pleaded, as the tears started to fall for the third time within the matter of 15 mins.

"Oh but why not," He asked smiling, slowly unbuttoning her shirt, "You'll enjoy this." He pulled her towards him as he turned the radio up so no one would hear her scream and then pushed her down on the floor, hitting the back of judes head making her go unconsious and at that judes innocence was taken from her.

A few hours later jude woke up hurting all over. She looked down and noticed her skirt was torn and her shirt was laying next to her. She tried to get up but fell because her head seemed to weigh more than her body did. When she lifted her hand up to her head she noticed there were streams of blood flowing down her forehead.

"Oww." She winced in pain.

When she finally was able to get up, put her shirt on and adjust to her surroundings she heard the radio which was still blasting and making her head throb even worse.

"Oh my god." She started to remember what happened

**flashback**

**"W-what do you want from me?" **

**"You know..I always did have a thing for young blondes." **

**End Flashback**

Tears were flowing now. She picked up her phone and read 6 missed calls-4 from her mom and 2 from sadie. She had to call someone, tell them what happened, do something! she had to do something. She scrolled through her contacts and stopped at tommys name. _'Can I trust him?..he'll ask so many questions..hes the only one I do trust' _She debated. She looked down at her skirt where there was blood that was seeping down her upper theighs, she couldnt walk home. "I have to call him." She said, her voice quivering. She pushed the button.

Tommy answered, "Hey jude whats up?"

Jude gasped, "Tommy I...I need u to pick me up."

Tommy instantly heard the hurt in her voice "Are you-"

Jude cried quickly "Just please pick me up tommy."

Tommy, without thinking twice, replied, "I'll be there in a few mins." and shut his phone.

Tommy was with sadie at the moment.

"Who was that?" She asked, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and kissing his cheek.

"I gotta go, i'll be back later." He got up expressionless without saying another word and left the nearly empty harrison house to pick up jude.

Tommy ran through the door of the studio to find jude sitting curled up on the couch. He immediately seen the blood.

"Jude.." He walked towards her, his heart breaking with every aching moment he looked at her.

"What happen?" He sat down next to her not wanting to touch her because he didnt want to hurt her anymore than she already was hurting.

She looked up at him and he seen the cuts on the top of her head and where the blood had been smeared.

"Jesus.." He examined every part of her with his eyes and when he got to her skirt he noticed where else the blood was coming from.

"Oh no.." He knew what had happened and he wanted to hold on to her and tell her everything would be alright but he didnt want to touch her, he couldnt touch her. And all at once a new emotion rushed over him. Rage.

"Who did this to you?" He asked almost in a whisper. Jude didnt answer, she just sat there in shock.

Tommy got up and sat in front of jude on the floor, balancing himself on his feet, he put his hands on judes shaking shoulders and held a firm but soft grip.

"Come on jude, who did this to you?" he asked again even more quietly.

"I..I dont know." All she seen when she tried to remember was a tall muscular figure but when she tried to remember what his face looked like all she seen was blurr.

"Remember for me jude." He pleaded.

She tried once again and all she could remember was it happening..it played over and over in her head. She pushed her face into tommys chest and sobbed. He sighed and wrapped his arms around her carefully, pulling her down to the floor with him.

"Its okay jude..I wont let anyone ever hurt you again." He promised, cradling her and rocking her back and forth.

Tommy took jude back to his apartment for the first time ever and let her clean herself up, she made him promise not to tell anyone, not just yet anyway. He took her home and jude stayed home for the next few days in her room just lieing on her bed and having the horrible incident play repeatedly in her head, she avoided her mom and sisters questions about her cuts and even when her dad called she made excuses not to see or talk to him. Yet In about a week jude decided to go back to her studio since there was no point in staying home and she had alot of words in her mind that she wanted to write down and officially work on.

When she got there it was empty again, sme hadnt returned yet. It pained her to be in that room in her studio but, where else could she go? She picked up her guitar and started to strum it, fooling around with a few different chords until she reached the ones she wanted.

"Dreamt of the day when my life would be normal again

_She started out slow and shaky._

when my past would fade and only the scar from you would remain

_Her voice got deeper._

living this lie, this secret

_A certain person walked into the studio and stood at the door listening_

living in shame is what i'm doing

and you get off with nothing?

typical i guess..it always ends this way

But its only a dream

I cant be fixed

cant you see?

you've taken my life from me."

With that she ended her song with a tear. the person came up behind her and wrapped his hands around her eyes but before he could say anything she screamed and started crying hysterically.

"Jude jude its ok its just me." He quickly pulled away from her.

"Jamie." her heart beating just a little slower.

"Why were you crying?" Jamie asked, embracing her.

"Oh..no reason..you just scared me is all." She said slowly, she hated lieing to jamie but she just couldnt bring herself to tell him, she knew he'd be even worse than tommy, _'oh god tommy..crap!'_

"Jamie I..I gotta go I'll call you later, ok?" She let go of jamie and whiped the liquid from her eyes, running out of the studio.

Jamie stood there amazed that she left so fast and just a little confused on why she left.

"Tommy!" Jude ran into G-major that was now owned by darius.

Tommy took off his head phones, he had been recording Mason, one of the new instant star winners first single. He tapped on the window and spoke into the mic letting mason know they were going on a break.

"Hey girl, how you doing? you shouldnt be down here..you should be at home." He looked at her concerned.

"Yeah well, I needed to make sure you kept your promise, and besides staying at home isnt making me feel any better..if anything its making me feel worse, I needed to get my mind off of.. it."

Tommy was looking at the ground now with his eyes closed, he was rubbing the back of his head and trying to make out words.

"No jude, I havent said anything," He opened his eyes, lifted his head and grabbed her hands,"But you need to tell your mom or something because I dont want to be the only one who knows this, and what you really need to do is go to the doctor and see if you-" Jude cut him off and dropped his hands.

"No tommy I'm not going to the doctor and I dont want my mom to know and if i do go to the doctors and something is wrong then they will make sure my mom knows." she said, not quite screaming but loud enough for darius to hear them, as he did.

"Whats this I hear about going to the doctors jude?" Darius came through the door.

"Oh nothing..i've just been getting sick lately I guess and tommys worried and I dont want my mom to get worried because she'd keep me from working on my songs and- why am I telling you this anyway? you guys kicked me out of the studio for three months so you shouldnt be worrying about me." She was almost in tears again at the thought of not being in the studio anymore.

"Jude, you know-" Darius started.

"Save it darius, you threw me out after all I'd done to try to make you happy. I'll see you in a few months" She glanced at tommy and then before darius could say something in his defense she walked out the door. Tommy shook his head at darius and then followed jude.

"Look, you need a ride?" He asked, catching the door that was just flung open by jude exiting the studio.

she stopped dead in her tracks, then turned towards his viper and got in the passengers seat.

"I'll take that as a yes." He smiled. They'd been driving only for a few minutes when jude decided to break the silence.

"Tommy, just please dont say anything ok?" She pleaded.

"Jude-" He started.

"No tommy, look I know, I understand..i'll go to the doctor, ok? I know its dangerous.. i'll tell sadie and she'll take me." she reassured him. He looked at her uncertain that she was telling him the truth.

"I swear." She whispered.

"Okay...but you know, I should have taken you to the doctor right after it happened, we could have caught the guy! now the evidence is gone." He looked at her uncomfortably.

"Tommy, I didnt want to go to court or anything..I didnt want it to be all over the tabloids and its going to kill my mom when she finds out, do you really think she'd want all this attention drawn to me considering my career anyway?" She asked, childishly.

"Quite frankly jude I dont think she'd care as long as we caught the guy." He assured her.

She sighed knowing he was right.

"I'm scared tommy..and I was scared, its not that easy." She looked at him.

"I know, its too late now, all i'm worried about right now is if you are...ok." He looked back at her.

They pulled up to judes house and he turned off the car. Jude hugged tommy tightly and just sat there for atleast 5minutes until finally saying "Thankyou tommy, for everything." She kissed his cheek and then pulled away to get out of the car, then she remembered she had to tell sadie.

Tommy watched her walk into the house and then started cursing to himself. He wanted to tell jude how he really felt, did he really feel for her? how could he..she was too young for him! _'I'm with sadie'_ he had to keep reminding himself. How could he even think about this right now after what she'd been through the last few days. He took a deep sigh and then drove off.

Jude walked upstairs and started down the hallway to sadies room.

"Sadie, you in there?" she asked while tapping on sadies door lightly.

"Yeah, come on in." Jude walked in to sadies very pink and girlish room which was the exact opposite of her own.

"Um, we need to talk." Jude said, sitting next to saidie who was laying on her bed and reading some love novel.

"You mean you're finally coming out of your moping stage and you are going to tell me whats been up with you lately? not to suddenly sound mushy or anything but you've had me worried." She layed her book on her night stand and sat herself up on the bed.

"Yeah.." She started as the incident played in her head again making jude scrunch her eyes closed and throw her hands over her face.

"Jude, what is it?" Sadie seen the fear in judes eyes since whatever happen happened and she needed to know what exactly had happened. She threw her arms around her crying sister and rubbed her arm with one of her hands, trying to comfort her.

"I..I was.." She started inbetween tears.

"What jude? what is it?" Her sister got more worried by the second. Jude looked up at sadie, taking her hands away from her face and letting them find their way around her sister then she layed her head on her sisters shoulder. Sadie, not knowing what else to do, rubbed judes back and made a "shh" sound trying to calm her.

"I was...raped sadie." Jude finally spoke.Sadie froze and also let tears fall, she couldnt say anything, she had never dealt with anything like this before and this was her sister, her baby sister. Instead of speaking she sat and held her sister as they both cried. Sadie thought for a while and had to ask something before it got too late, well even though it was kind of already too late.

"Did he use a..." Sadies words drifted.

"I don't know." Jude said, seperating herself from her sister and whiping away her smeared eyeliner.

"Well..have you been to a clinic or something? if not, jude, we have to go." Sadie got up off her bed.

"No I havent..and mom doesnt know." Sadies face suddenly got less understanding.

"Jude you have to-"

"No," Jude interupted,"You cant tell her, maybe there is nothing wrong..maybe i'm okay..just take me to the clinic and if anything is wrong we will tell her." She pleaded.

"Well yeah jude then we'd have to tell her," Sadie stopped and put the palm of her hand up to her forehead, "I dont like not telling mom things." She continued.

Jude nodded remembering how her dad had betray her mom and lied to her.

"I know, neither do I but sadie we cant tell her, ok?" Jude pleaded.

Sadie looked at her sister for a few minutes and then finally agreed to keeping this from their mother unless they found something was wrong. Sadie took jude to the clinic.

**A/N - Once again, please review..as a matter of fact I want atleast 2 reviews before I post anything else...please?**


	2. Chapter 2 I'm fine

**A/N- Wow..thankyou all so much! I wasnt expecting thismany reviews and when I read them I wasalmost in tears..hehe thankyou again and I'mgladyou all like it sofar, keep reviewing it makes me happy!**

**Disclaimer - Once again, I do not own Instant star or any of the people sadly,but I do own the poems and songs used in this story.**

**Chapter 2 - I'm fine**

Tommy was at the studio working on some tracks yet he couldnt get his mind off of jude.

_'I wonder if shes alright..what if shes pregnant? I know jude she wouldnt give up the baby and I know for sure she wouldnt have an abortion..whats her mom gonna think? her having to raise a baby at age 16? Wait..she might not be pregnant, I cant believe this happened to her..shes so young. how old is this guy? what would he want with a 16 year old? what do you want with a 16 year old? wait tom dont think like that especially not now.' _Tommy jumped when he felt his phone vibrate against his leg.

"Hello?" He failed to look at the caller Id

"Hey i'm okay and i'm not... pregnant." Jude cried into the phone yet whispered on the last word.

Tommy could feel her happiness through the phone, what was left of her happiness and hope anyway.

"Thank god, and everything else is alright? he didnt..hurt anything did he?"

Jude feeling kind of uncomfortable talking to tommy about this quickly replied, "No...not really."

Tommy felt uneasy about the 'not really' comment she made but decided to leave that question open for another time. They stayed on the phone for a few more minutes talking and then when they decided to hang up, jude sat smiling. She knew she shouldnt smile at a time like this but it was tommy, she couldnt help it, he always did this to her.

Jude and sadie went back home and jude made sadie, as she did tommy, swear not to tell anybody what had happened and after arguing for a while sadie promised. Jude got home and called jamie who asked her if she wanted to hang out with him and kat, she agreed even though she didnt feel up to it yet, she didnt want jamie to think something was wrong with her, not more than he already did. Tommy and sadie were already out somewhere, he had picked sadie up not long after jude and her had returned from the clinic.

---------------------

"So tommy, I was thinking about our relationship." Sadie started, swirling her straw in her mocha lotte. Tommy was gazing at some painting that was hanging on the wall of the little cafe they were in, though he was looking at the portrait, he was thinking of jude.

"Tom?" Sadie tryed to motion her boyfriends attention back to herself.

"Oh..yeah sorry, what were you saying?" Tommy snapped out of it. Sadie gave him a weird look and then cleared her throat.

"I said I have been thinking about our relationship." She dropped her straw and grabbed tommys hands, smiling.

"What about it?" He asked, sounding kind of distracted, as he was.

"Um..well..I think we need to take a vacation together, just you and me..even if its just for the weekend, I really need to get away and lord knows you do, it would be good for us, bring us closer..I love you tommy." She whispered the last words.

This deffinately got tommys attention and not in a good way. Knowing sadie now knew about what had happened to jude just a little over a week ago, and here she is wanting to go away with him and leave her by herself? '_What kind of a sister is she?..wait..did she say she loved me?'_ Tommy couldnt let her know that he knew about jude though, he had to make different excuses.

"Look..Sadie-"

"Tommy, dont say no to me..we never do anything together anymore, you always have to work..which usually involves jude! and you never answer my phone calls and I dont like not spending time with you, I miss you."

Tommy couldnt believe how inconsiderate sadie was sounding, he had never heard her be this selfish, tommy couldnt help but look at her with disgust.

"What tommy? its true!" Sadie screamed. All this was starting to sink in and tommy started feeling a little guilty.

"I know..sadie i'm sorry things have been crazy lately at the studio and with jude on her own and I know we havent been able to spend as much time as we want together but I cant go away with you right now, especially how things are with darius..hes counting on me." Tommy rubbed sadies hands with his own. She looked at him with needing eyes. He knew what she wanted but..he just couldnt say he loved her, he couldnt lie to her. He dropped her hands.

"Well hey..I have to get back to the studio, I shouldnt have stayed away this long." Tommy stuck his hand in his pocket, searching for his keys.

"I'll take you home." They both got up and sadie forced a fake smile so tommy wouldnt ask any annoying and typical questions. They rode to the harrison house in silence, when they got there, before getting out of the car, sadie quickly kissed tommy on the lips and said, "I meant what I said." Then got out of the car and went in the house without looking back. Tommy sat in the driveway for a few minutes trying to process this. _'love.'_ the word kept repeating. He finally drove off, still confused and obviously torn. He went back to the studio to find everyone sitting around doing nothing, did he miss something?

-------------------------

"Jamie seriously i'm fine!" Jude smiled..looking so fake that it was just sad. Jamie decided to give it up..for now.

"So, what do you guys wanna do?" Kat asked, playfully hitting jamies arm.

"Want to go see a movie?" Jamie asked. The girls agreed and they were off to see what was good that was playing. After the movie jude went back to her studio and said goodbye to jamie and kat who were off to go on some other adventure. When jude walked into the studio she went and layed on her couch, immediately falling asleep and drifting into a dream

_Jude came into the studio after saying bye to kat and jamie and seen tommy sitting on her couch strumming a few chords on her guitar._

_"Hey tommy..what are you doing here?" She sat down next to him._

_"I needed to think..and now that you're here..I need to talk." He stated._

_Jude raised her eyebrow. _

_"Alright quincy, talk." She pulled her legs up on the couch and crossed them, folding her arms to her chest. Tommy smiled, leaning the guitar up against the couch._

_"Well first, how are you feeling? you doin ok?" He asked with concern in his eyes._

_"Yeah..good as to be expected." She retorted, her hand motioning him to continue with what he wanted to talk about._

_"Alright alright." He looked away from jude and gave a blank stare to some poster jude put up on the wall._

_"Tommy, a better question is are you okay?" She tryed to get him to look at her but he didnt._

_"Sadie and I are getting closer and..."He started, looking at something farther away from the poster, farther away from jude, he didnt want to see her expression. Judes heart had already felt as if it was bleeding but now..it felt as if it had been drained and that there was nothing left, no hope, no sanity, nothing._

_"Yeah.." She looked down at her now shaking body._

_"But I wanted to talk to you about it before it gets too serious." He almost immediately retorted, finally looking at her and realizing he hurt her and instantly regreted saying anything in the first place. She looked back up at him, a bit confused, she wanted to cry but..she had cried so much the past few days it seemed impossible to shed a tear._

_"Jude.." He started, turning his whole body towards her._

_"I dont want this to affect you in any way, you have been through alot and I am your producer and your friend and sadie is your sister, I dont want things to be weird between us, I need your input on this before anything else happens between sadie and I" He asked. Jude suddenly felt even more pain, if possible._

_"Thats it? thats what this is about tommy? you want us to be okay," Her voice cracking._

_"I thought..I thought maybe you were going to say.." She stopped, realizing how stupid and typical she was sounding. Tommy knew what she was thinking and he did want to say it, but it would never work..she knew this, what could he do?_

_"Jude-"_

_"No tommy its ok, i'm sorry..i'm just a bit out of it right now." She looked him in the eye transfering all her emotions to him with just one look._

_"I wish you and sadie...the best." She smiled bitterly. Tears finally stinging her eyes._

_Tommy couldnt stand this, he couldnt stand that he made her feel this way, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her and he wanted to show her what she really meant to him._

_"Jude-" he put his hands on her shoulders and held a firm grip._

_"Tommy its ok, i'll be fi-" Tommy silenced her by kissing her intensely, not allowing her to finish her sentence. He lifted one of his hands to the back of her head and rubbed it softly, touching her hair, brushing it lightly with his fingers, jude pulled him towards her and he tightened his grip with his other hand that was around her waist, this went on for a few minutes and things were about to get more intense until his fingers touched one of the spots on her scalp that was now dry blood which brought him back to reality . He let go of her and jumped back. They were both breathing hard and jude sat staring at tommy. He looked at her and started to take a breath as if he were going to say something but jude held out her hand in a 'stop' manner and said. "Dont bother, I've got it tommy.." She cried, "Forget about it, right? it never happened?..I think i've got it down by now." She kind of laughed and cried at the thought._

_Tommy leaned in closer to her, trying to comfort her by grabbing her hands._

_"Tommy, why do I do this? I keep letting myself fall for you..and then you do something like this and make me think there is a thred of hope and then you leave me heartbroken again...I cant do this forever."_

_"You think I like not being able to be with you, jude? do you know how hard it is for me seeing you everyday, how hard it is working with you and having these feelings I shouldnt be having for you? God jude you're 16. Its not right and me doing this to you is not right, I know." He sighed deeply._

_"I lo-" She stopped, she wasnt going to admit her feelings, she wasnt going to get hurt again._

_Jude stared at tommy. She got lost in his eyes as he leaned in to kiss her again, she couldnt look away even though she knew it was just another 'mistake' as tommy would put it...he obviously didnt feel too much for her, he couldnt say it. But they were so close, he felt her breath on his lips.Tommys cell phone had rang finally causing her to look away. He looked down at it, dropping judes hands, and go figure, it was sadie._

_"Hey babe." He answered. Jude felt sick going behind sadies back and kissing her boyfriend._

_"Alright yeah i'll call you later...bye." He closed his phone._

_"That your girlfriend?" Jude mocked._

_"Dont do this." Tommy tryed to take her hands again but jude pulled them back._

_"You're right tommy, i'm done doing "This". I cant do "This" anymore, it hurts too much."_

_She wrapped her arms around tommy and hugged him tightly._

_"You have no idea what you want and I see that now. Until you do know what you want dont worry our producer-artist relationship is fine. Good luck with sadie but when she hurts you..just know I would never do that." She whispered in his ear and then let go of him. He wanted to tell her she was wrong, but instead of arguing and knowing that she was right about the not knowing about what he wanted thing he just nodded, got up, and walked out of the studio._

Jude woke up crying silently and then she grabbed a notepad and a pen, starting to write lyrics. The words were pouring out of her and onto the paper.

_'why cause me all this pain? _

_we know it will never last_

_shes in ur present thoughts_

_she was too much of your past_

_why lead me on like this?_

_do you find pleasure in it?_

_my heart breaking before your eyes,_

_though it shouldnt come as a big surprise,_

_i told you I didnt want it to be like this_

_that id been hurt once before_

_you didnt listen and here we are now_

_and i'm hurting even more_

_i cant help what i feel for you even if i tried_

_but that doesnt mean that this had to happen_

_everything didnt have to be a lie_

_why did i tell you how i felt?_

_now i feel like the jerk.._

_i knew she was on your mind_

_but i thought i would give it a shot it could be worth it_

_and now here i am complaining about how your treating me_

_i cant blame you for loving her _

_If i wouldve kept this to myself i wouldve avoided all this controversy_

_But instead i was in the wrong, now i'm here begging for your mercy_

_hoping, dreaming, believing everything will be okay again_

_denying the truth, open to any lie to proove myself to be wrong_

_what i know is what i wish was wrong but its not so.._

_what i can do is step down from my feelings and everything that matters _

_to leave you and her to be happy no matter what i feel._

_My Beautiful disaster.'_

She ended it, along with alot of feelings she had been having for the past few weeks. Though she couldnt exactly forget about being raped, who could? she couldnt dwell on it and she couldnt keep feeling depressed about her home life either, nor tommy. Life moves on. She smiled, whiping away her tears. She already had the tune to it, she could already hear it being played in her head.

"Hey rock star, how you feeling?" A familiar voice rang through the studio.

"Hey how was tour?" Jude turned around coming face to face with speid.

"You know, chicks digged us..even though we didnt have our original singer..our fill in did alright." Speid smiled.

"Heh, yeah I wish I would've went with you guys..alot has happened." Jude looked at the ground.

He could tell something was wrong with jude but being Speid he didnt ask.

"You guys havent thought of replacing me have ya?" Jude smiled.

Speid smirked.

"Well we were talking about it..that back up chick was pretty hot."

Jude put on a fake hurt face.

"Oh ok..I see how it is.." She smiled and shook her head. There was silence for a few minutes.

"So," she cleared her throat and looked up at him,"Wheres wally and kyle?" she continued.

"They went to get real food, you know how it is on the bus." He retorted.

"Yeah...oh hey! I wrote a song, you want to hear?" Jude basically pleaded.

"Hmm...do I want to hear?" He began sarcastically, putting his finger up to his chin as if in thought. "I dont know..whats in it for me?" He winked at her, playing around.

She rolled her eyes "You get to hear our next hit, so you want to hear it or not?" She walked over to the couch where her guitar was.

"Well I'm gonna hear it whether I want to or not so yeah, lets get it over with." He joked, sitting on the couch across from the one jude was sitting on.

"Ok here it goes, dont be too harsh its my first time playing it and the chords are off the top of my head." She picked up her guitar and started to strum it.

_'why cause me all this pain? _

_we know it will never last_

_shes in ur present thoughts_

_she was too much of your past_

_why lead me on like this?_

_do you find pleasure in it?_

Jude continued to sing the song, looking down at her guitar the whole time.Though speid was listening he had seen her notebook next to him and decided to look through it to see what other songs she had came up with, if any.

He flipped to the one befor her last, which was the one she was singing now. This song was titled "Scar" He began to read.

"Show no sympathy

do not pitty me

for i am here, this is where i belong

scream at me again, go ahead

i will not walk away

i am broken and immune to these words

silently, ever so silently i pray, it seems to be the only thing

that gets me through this eternal pain which is and ever was a burden to me

listen to my voice, cant you hear it crack?

for every time you made me suffer this is a reminder

Dreamt of the day when my life would be normal again

when my past would fade and only the scar from you would remain

living this lie, this secret

living in shame is what i'm doing

and you get off with nothing?

typical i guess..it always ends this way

But its only a dream

I cant be fixed

cant you see?

You've taken my life from me.."

He read silently. _'What the hell is this?'_ he thought to himself. _'Jude wouldnt write something like this...what happened to her?' _He didnt notice that jude had stopped singing, he was too wrapped up in her writing.

"What did you thi-what are you reading?" She got up, setting her guitar back on the couch.

"Jude, what is this?" He pointed the paper full of writing in her direction.

"Why were you reading that? I didnt say you could read that!" She snapped, snatching the book from him.

"Why would you write something like that?" He said in a slighty lower tone. Jude looked down, sitting next to him and closing her eyes.

"Hey," He put his hand on her shoulder and rubbed it lightly. "I know me and the guys give you a hard time but its all in good fun...you know if you need to talk i'm here." He looked down at her tear stained cheek. She nodded her head, not wanting to say anything because she didnt want to start crying again.

"What happen?" He asked.

"I cant tell you." She finally whispered back to where he could barely hear her.

He finally let go of her shoulder and got up off the couch.

"Well i'm going to go join the guys i'm pretty hungry too." He walked towards the door.

"You want to come?" He asked, stopping at the door and turning around.

She looked up and smiled, "Nah, give the guys my best, I'll see you later."

He shrugged and walked out the door. Jude decided to go home and catch up on more sleep.

**A/N - I have up to chapter 5 written already but..after it might take me longer than a day to post like i've started to do..but once again please review and thats aboutit..see yall later! **


	3. Chapter 3 Confessions?

**A/N - Thank you you guys! Ok just to clear up some confusion from the last chapter...the whole "dream" wasnt a flashback it was just a dream..nothing has happened between tommy and jude...yet..hint hint :) Thank you again for your wonderful reviews! heh..**

**Disclaimer - I dont own instant star or any of the characters but I do own these ideas and the songs/poems**

**Chapter 3 - Confessions?**

Tommy stayed at the studio for a while but then finally realized that this was one of those days that he just wasnt needed. He went out to the viper and drove around for a while before coming to the conclusion that he needed to see sadie..again. He stopped in front of the harrison house without turning off the car as sadie approached it. She oppened the door and plopped herself next to him.

"Sadie, we have to talk." He started.

--------------------

Jude walked inside the house ignoring the fact that the blue viper was sitting outside her house, she didnt feel like watching him and sadie make out or whateevr they were doing. She walked up to the bathroom to get a shower.

---------------------

"Ok.." Sadie had a worried expression on her face. Tommy looked around the neighborhood trying to avoid her eyes.

"Well, are we going to talk or juse sit here?" She asked, annoyed. Tommy put the car in 'drive' and sped off.

---------------------

Jude got out of the shower, wrapping a towel around her wet hair and then another around her body. She looked in the mirror, brushing her teeth. When she was dry and her teeth were brushed she walked out of the bathroom and into her room, closing her door and getting dressed. She was the only one in the house..her mom went out on a date with her new boyfriend that neither sadie nor jude had met yet.

---------------------

Tommy was still silent after driving for a while.

"Tommy you're scaring me, please say something." She pleaded, trying to find his eyes.

He looked over at her. This was going to be hard.

"Sadie..I like you, I really do but.." Sadie looked out her window, away from tommy. She was trying so hard not to cry.

"I'm sorry." He pulled off the side of the road.

"Why tommy? I thought we were doing good." She looked at him, her eyeliner was starting to run as she choked.

"I just-I have feelings for someone else." He choked out.

"I knew it! Its jude isnt it?" She whiped her tears and pushed his shoulder.

He sat silent trying to figure out what to say to that, he didnt want her to know it was jude.

"You dont know her." He lied.

"Oh dont give me that tom, its jude..its always been jude." Realization washed over her. She got out of the car, slamming the door behind her.

"Sadie!" He called after her but she didnt turn around.

------------------------

Sadie finally got back to the house crying and tired. She opened the door to find jude, who couldnt sleep, sitting on the couch with her notebook writing aimlessly. She couldnt even look at her, she knew it wasnt exactly her fault but still she couldnt bring herself to _forgive_ her that easily.

"You alright?" Jude asked noticing sadies tear stained face.

Sadie ignored her and walked to her room, closing the door behind her and locking it.

_'okay..'_ Jude went back to writing lyrics.

----------------------

"What?" Tommy answered his phone once again without looking at the caller id.

"Hey man, you alright?" A familiar voice rang through.

Tommy took his free hand and ran it through his hair.

"Hey kwest, sorry..i'm just..its complicated." He tried to sum up what he was feeling.

"Well, you want me to tell D you're not coming in or what?" He asked without being nosey even though it was bothering him not knowing what was going on, tommy could tell.

"Actually yeah.." Tommy said without second thought.

He hung up the phone.

--------------------

A few days passed and tommy and jude had not spoken, tommy hadnt even been at G-major for those last days.

_'Where is he?'_

Jude sat deep in thought, staring at one of the pictures that was in her studio, it was of herself and tommy after they finished her first cd.

She sighed.

Sadie hadnt talked to her in the past few days either, she began to put two and two together and figured sadie and tommy broke up.

_'I dont want to meet moms boyfriend..' _She rubbed her eyes. _'Its bad enough I had to meet dads girlfriend..'_ Her eyes started to tear up but then the watery crystals went away.

Her and her dad werent as close as they use to be and she missed him.

"Hey jude, got a sec?" A familiar voice came ringing from the doorway.

"Um yeah sure." She smiled at kwest.

Kwest walked into her studio looking around whistling.

"Love what you've done with the place." He mocked, sitting next to her.

"Yeah ya know its so easy to make a place your own when ya share it with three other boys." She pushed his shoulder jokingly.

"Ah yes..the speiderman group..must be fun." He smiled.

"So..did ya come here to mock my place and my band or do ya have somethin to tell me? is everything okay at G-major?" She suddenly felt concerned.

"Yeah everything is fine..except the fact our best producer is missing." Jude looked at him skeptically.

"Tommy?" She felt stupid asking because she knew it was him.

"Yep.." He looked at the floor.

"Oh..umm..well I dont know I havent heard from him in a few days." She found the spot he was looking at and also started to gaze.

"Hm, I thought you might know why he decided to take a few days off." He looked back up at her.

"Heh..how should I know?" She smiled nervously.

"Oh I dont know..maybe because you two usually know eachothers every move." He smirked.

"Use to.." She mumbled.

"Everything okay between you two?" He asked.

"I guess...hes just..complicated." She looked up at kwest.

"Wow..i've heard that before." He remembered his last chat with tommy.

"Am I missing something?" Jude asked, confused.

"Haha..nah..do you want to talk about it?" He got serious.

"Theres nothing really to say." She lied.

"Come on jude, explain to me why you think he's complicated, not that I disagree..he is definately complicated."

She got up and walked towards his picture and then started to outline his face with her finger. She smiled.

"You can tell me." Kwest reassured her.

"I had a dream about us," She turned and looked at kwest,"You know whenever he says we need to talk I get the feeling that maybe it could be about..." She stopped before she confessed to kwest how she felt for tommy.

"About your guys' relationship?" He asked, motioning for her to sit down.

"Heh..okay yeah something like that." She sat.

"I'm just..I dont know what to do or say around him anymore." Kwest could hear the hurt in her voice.

"I Know." He gave her a half smile.

"Oh no, it gets better." Tears developing out of no where.

Kwest sat and listened to her explain how stupid she was for thinking tommy could like her and how naive she was for falling for him again.

Kwest put his arms around her and brought her close to him. They both stayed quiet for a few minutes before jude finally broke away.

He smiled at her.

"Jude, come on you know hes head over heels for you."

"Yeah well he has a fine way of showing it." She protested.

"You're 16."

"I'm so sick of hearing that, you know between you and tommy I dont think I could ever forget my age! not that I need you to remind me." She Jumped up off the couch. Kwest sighed knowingly.

"He'll come around, i've watched him for almost two years now and it's getting to him..the way he looks at you..i've known tom for a long time and i've never seen him look at another girl the way he looks at you."

She smiled.

"Well I better continue my search for lil' Tommy Q" He laughed, getting up.

"Yeah, I have to meet my moms new boyfriend tonight, he's coming over for dinner," She rolled her eyes, "And it's getting pretty late out so I better go too." She followed him out the door.

--------------------------

"Mom, do I really have to meet him?" Jude whined, chewing on a pop tart.

"Jude honey dont eat that, you wont be hungry later..you know how important this is to me." Her eyes pleading.

Jude sighed and threw away the half eaten substance.

"Fine but i'm not acting any differently than I normally do."

Her mom smiled at her daughters strong spirit.

"Thats fine." She said, warm heartedly.

Jude went up to sadies room and knocked on her door..

"What?" Sadie screamed.

"Come on..the guys gonna be here any second." And as if on cue, there was a knock on the door downstairs.

"Wonderful.." Jude said sarcastically, walking down the stairs, sadie not too far behind.

The man walked inside and kissed victoria on the cheek.

_'Oh my god..'_ Jude stood wide-eyed.

--------------------------

"Tom, i've been looking everywhere for you." Kwest walked up to the table tommy was sitting at and sat across from him. They were at the cafe tommy and sadie were at earlier that week.

"I just needed to be alone for a few days." He spoke quietly, looking up at kwest.

"Man, why are you doing this to yourself?"

"What are you talking about now?" Tommy asked, already aggravated with the situation.

"Jude." Kwest got tommys attention.

"What about her?" He asked, playing dumb.

"Dont play stupid tom, I know you..and I know that those feelings you have for jude are not artist-producer..not even friend to friend." He smirked as tommy turned two shades of white.

"Shes 16 man." He burried his face into his hands.

"Yes I know that, but you cant help the way you feel and we both know you do feel for her." He patted tommys shoulder.

"I don't feel for her like that..I cant feel for her like that." _'How can I say that? I'm such a liar..'_

"Alright well tell me when you're out of denial." Kwest got up and started to walk away.

"And you need to be back at G-major tomorrow.." He finished and then walked out of sight.

**A/N - Review yall...please? like I said it makes me happy..and I think you guys are gonna like the next chapter..we shall see I guess.**


	4. Chapter 4 Greetings

**A/n - Wow..thats all I can say, I never expected that many reviews..heh..thank you so much for sticking with me! you guys are the best :)**

**Disclaimer - I don't own anything from instant star, just my own ideas and songs/poems**

**Chapter 4 - Greetings..**

"Jude, Sadie I'd like you to meet Lex." Thier mother practically squealed.

"Vicky, you never told me how pretty your daughters were..they look just like you." He held out his hand, sadie took it immediately.

"Nice to meet you." She smiled sweetly.

Jude stood shocked at what she saw, emotions started to consume her. It was him.

"Jude, arent you going to say hello?" Victorias voice brought jude out of her thoughts.

"Oh..yeah hi." She said lightly, not taking his hand. He smirked and pulled his arm back.

"Hi." He said simply.

"Well now that that's out of the way, whose ready to eat?" Victorias cheerful voice rang.

"I've waited all day." He replied, grabbing and squeezing her hand.

"ALright then lets eat." Sadie jumped in and lead her mom and lex to the dining room.

Jude couldnt take anymore of this.

"Um, i'll be right back." She excused herself before dinner started. She walked calmly around the corner and then started running upstairs and all the way to her room and then she closed the door behind her.

_'Oh my god...what am I going to do?'_ She sat up against her door and cradled her face in her hands.

_'I will not cry.'_ She thought, holding back the tears that threatened to fall.

_'I could call someone..'_ The only person she could think of to call was tommy. She groaned, picking up the phone and

once again looking through the contacts and stopping at his name, she hit the button.

Tommy was now at home in his built in studio. He was strumming on his guitar. He'd been thinking about jude for the past week and for once, that moment he wasnt thinking about her, he was thinking about his life, his music, this song.

The cell phone rang, this time he looked at the caller id and his eyes lit up when he seen who was calling.

"Hey jude." He smiled to himself.

"Tommy, I dont know what to do." She whispered.

"You okay?" He dropped his guitar and stood.

"He's here." Tommy clutched the phone a little tighter.

"Jude you in there sweetie? who ya talkin to?" Lex was outside her door. She hesitantly got up and closed her phone, hanging up on tommy.

"No. Jude? Jude?" He waited for a response and then finally took note that she hung up.

Her door opened.

"Hey babe." He closed the door behind him.

"Who were you talking to?" He came closer to her, she started shaking.

"No-no one." She tryed to sound convincing.

"Whoever it was better not know anything." He grabbed her arm lightly.

She squirmed under his touch, it brought back so many memories.

"What do you want?" She shook off his hand and walked towards the door.

"Making sure you werent doing anything stupid." He turned to face her.

"Jude, honey come down and eat." Her mother called from down stairs.

"Me do something stupid? no I think you take the cake on that one." She openned the door and started to walk out but he grabbed her arm again.

"Don't say anything or else you'll never see your precious mother or sister again." His breath tickled her ear. He let go of her after she silently agreed. She walked down stairs and sat down ignoring sadie and her mothers concerened glances.

"Sorry, took me a minute to find the bathroom." Lex came down stairs a few minutes after jude, flashing his sneaky smile.

They all sat around the dinner table and started to eat the food that had been placed there a few minutes earlier.

Jude ate extremely fast, trying to get it over with.

"Jude, you in a hurry?" Victoria asked.

Jude swallowed the remains of food in her mouth.

"Why do you ask?" Jude asked innocently, taking another forkfull of food and shoving it into her mouth.

"Oh I dont know.." She nodded towards judes half eaten plate.

She swallowed again.

"Nope, just good food mom." She put on a fake smile.

"Why thankyou, but you dont have to rush." Her mother smiled and then flashed an even bigger smile at lex who had been unusually quiet.

"So lex, what do you do?" Sadie asked.

Jude couldnt believe it..sadie was actually flirting with him! her mothers boyfriend and a rapest at that! how could she? look how old he is! _'Disgusting.'_

The door bell rang.

"I'll get it!" Jude jumped up and literally ran towards the door. The three at the table watched in disbelief.

She opened the door.

"Oh thank god." She whispered, teary-eyed. She flung her arms open and squeezed the only person who mattered at the moment.

"Jude whats going on?" He asked.

"Tommy..just hold on a second." She was still whispering.

Jude turned and grabbed a jacket off the coat rack and then went around the corner to face the three again.

"Mom its kat, i'm staying over at her house tonight..dinner was great!" She ran out again before her mother could process what she had said.

"Kat?" Tommy asked, walking towards the viper.

"Tommy, can I stay at your place tonight?" Jude pleaded.

Tommy didnt like the idea of jude staying at his apartment, he'd let her there once but that was an emergency and she didnt stay, wait..was this an emergency?

"Why whats going on?" He asked again, sitting inside the car and about to start it.

"He's here..and he's my moms boyfriend and sadies flirting with him and he threatened me and-"

"Woah woah woah, wait. Hes in there? right now?" Tommy began to turn red in the face, clenching the steering wheel a little too tightly.

"He came in my room." She looked out the window towards the house.

"What did he do?" He asked flatly, showing nothing but anger.

"He just threatened me..he said if I told anyone I'd never see my mom or sadie again." A single tear slid down her cheek.

Tommy put his arm around her trying to comfort her. He wanted to go in there and kill the guy that hurt the only person he cared about but, after considering the concequences and how dangerous this guy could actually be he decided to think more about it later and maybe even talk to jude about what they should do.

"Can I please stay with you tonight? I cant stay here." She whiped away the cold tear.

"Jude, I dont know if thats a good Idea.." He drifted off thinking about all the things that could possibly happen if she stayed there. He knew if he had her alone he might not be able to stop himself from doing something stupid.

"I have nowhere to go tommy." She looked up at him and pleaded with her beautiful blue eyes.

Tommy groaned, she knew he couldnt resist that face.

"Alright." He sighed, letting go of her and starting the car.

She grabbed his hand and rubbed it lightly.

"Thanks." She smiled and let it go. They drove to his apartment.

"Wow." It was the only word that came to mind when looking at something so perfect. Tommy chuckled as he closed the door behind them.

"So you like it?" He asked sarcastically.

"Tommy, its beautiful in here, and just what I expected for a batchelor pad." She smirked, sitting on his black leather lazy boy recliner.

"Yeah well.." He sat on the matching couch.

"You've seen it before." He leaned back into the couch.

"Well I guess I wasnt paying attention before." She remembered that night..coming to tommys appartment soaked in blood, how embarrased she was. He was so sweet taking care of her and helping her clean up.

"So, would you like a tour?" Jude raised her eyebrow.

"Sure quincy." She got up and followed as he lead the way.

They walked into the second room which appeared to be the dining room.

"This is a really big apartment." She squeaked, looking around.

"Well..I like space." He smiled, "This is the dining room..nothing important here." He motioned her down a hallway. She followed.

"This is my studio." Before he could finish his sentence jude was already in there checking out his guitars and the soundboard.

"Oh my god!" She squealed.

"This is awsome!" She continued, running around the studio picking up everything in sight.

Tommy stood against the door frame smiling at her. He loved seeing her happy.

She picked up a peice of paper that had writing on it, it was laying on top of an acoustic guitar.

She began to read.

"Tommy, did you write this?" She looked up at him, she could barely hide the anxiousness in her voice.

He cleared his throat.

"Yeah, its no big deal." He ran his fingers through his hair.

"I've never read anything before that possesed this much emotion." She could tell this was making tommy uncomfortable so she put the paper back where she found it and then walked passed him.

"So, this cant be all of your apartment." She smirked, waiting for the room she wanted to see the most. She could swear his cheeks turned pink when she said that.

He cleared his throat again. "Come on." He lead her to the guest room.

This time he smirked. "This is where _you'll_ be sleeping tonight." She frowned at his comment.

"Aww..you're breaking my heart quincy!" She hit his arm playfully.

"Its pretty." She smiled, looking around the room and then plopping on the bed. Tommy took this to his advantage.

"Oh so I guess you dont want the rest of your tour." He shrugged and started to walk out of the room.

Jude jumped up and nearly tackled him. "You're not getting away that easily." He sighed again.

"Alright alright, come on." He walked her to his door.

"Dont go all crazy on me now, ok?" Jude laughed.

"Yeah sure, you got it..now let me in already!" She managed to turn the knob and open the door without him holding her back. There was a bed in the middle of the room and sitting in front of it was a flat screened plasma tv. The carpet was black and the walls were white yet everything else in the room was black making the room have a comforting feel to it. Jude walked over to the nightstand which had a lamp and a picture of herself and him on the peir.

"Aw, tommy, you kept this? and you framed it?" She picked it up and looked at it for a while.

"Of course." He smiled at the expression on her face then he sat down on the bed and watched her look around his room some more. She came to a wall full of pictures of himself with different celebrities. She stood in awe.

"You know all these people?" She asked, shocked.

"Yeah you could say that." He smirked.

She finally backed away from the wall and started towards a stack of cds that seemed to be in alphabetical order and never ending.

"Got enough cds?" She asked sarcastically.

"I'm a producer, what did you expect?" He gave her a look.

"Yeah yeah yeah." She said, looking through the different cds.

After looking through the cds she finally came and sat next to tommy on the bed.

"Hi." She said, feeling dumb.

"Hi." He smiled at her.

They sat there for a moment starting to get caught up in their gaze. Jude began leaning towards tommy.

"So." Tommy quickly jumped up. "What do you want to do? are you hungry? thirsty?" He asked, trying to be the mature one in this situation, knowing he had to be so nothing they'd regret later would happen.

"No." She said quietly, looking down at her shoes.

Tommy looked around the room and stopped at the second door in the room.

"You want to take a shower?" He asked before thinking fully about what he was asking.

Judes head popped up and she raised her eyebrow.

He shook his head, knowing what she was thinking.

"Alone." He added with a smirk. She blushed.

"That sounds nice but I have nothing to wear." She got up off the bed.

"You can wear something of mine, its fine." He said, walking towards his dresser.

Jude walked over to the second door and looked at tommy.

"Tommy?" She pointed in front of her at the door.

"Yeah thats it." He grabbed some boxers and a T-shirt.

Jude openned the door revealing a huge white tile bathroom, with a jacuzzi bathtub and also a walk in shower, not to mention the toilet and sink, those are a given.

"Jeez tommy this is bigger than my room and sadies put together." She walked towards the jacuzzi.

"How do you work it?" She asked, messing with a few nobs and not getting the result she wanted.

Tommy, without thinking, dropped the clothes on the dresser and headed towards the bathroom shaking his head.

He laughed at her scrunched up face, she still couldnt figure out how to turn it on.

"Girl, you push this in and turn the nob." He pushed a small white button and then turned the nob in the direction of the 'H'.

"Oh.." She laughed innocently.

"You want the jets?" He asked, pushing another button, turning them on.

"Ooo." She smiled.

"Thankyou." She said impatiently pushing him towards the door.

"Okay I can tell when and where I'm not wanted." He joked, closing the door behind him. He walked over to the bed, layed down and propped his head up on his hand, he then turned on the t.v.

_'Oh my god i'm in tommys bathroom...naked..and hes in the next room!' _She lay in the jacuzzi thinking.

_'Oh god he didnt lock the door.'_ She jumped out of the tub and ran over to the door and then locked it afterwards running back to the tub. Tommy heard the nob being fumbled with and figured out what she was doing, then he laughed to himself.

Jude jumped back in the tub. _'Well its certainly cold enough in here.'_ She shivered.

Tommy stared at the t.v. To the naked eye it would seem as though he was watching it but when it actually came down to it tommy was thinking about jude, whats new?

_'Jude is in your bathroom right now..shes staying the night at your apartment. Keep your cool man.' _His glance suddenly went to the door that was being opened by a wet jude who had a towel around her. He sat in awe and couldnt look away, mentally he was yelling and cursing at himself to look else where.

She laughed, embarassment written all over her face.

"Uh.." He said, still not being able to look away.

"Clothes?" She asked.

He snapped out of it.

"Oh yeah." He got up and picked the clothes up off the dresser. Tommy walked slowly towards jude, trying not to make it too noticable that he was examining her. She could feel his eyes burning her skin, she loved every minute of it. He finally reached her.

"Here." He held out the clothes waiting impatiently for her to take them, he couldnt take this much longer. She knew how he felt, here he was in front of her and her in a towel, who wouldnt be going nuts? She smirked to herself. He seen this and closed his eyes.

"You ok tommy?" She asked, taking the clothes.

He opened his eyes and seen her smiling and backed up slowly.

"Yeah i'm fine." He reached the bed again and sat.

She turned around confusedly and walked back into the bathroom to change.

_'Jesus tom get a hold of yourself she is 16. 16!'_ He mentally scolded himself. Jude was also doing this in the other room as she was getting dressed.

_'Come on jude he doesnt want you, remember? he made that pretty clear.'_ She sighed, putting on the last peice of clothing, completing her outfit. She looked in the mirror and smiled at what she saw. She loved being in his clothes and oh god the smell..it smelled of tommy. She sighed once again and finally walked out of the bathroom.

Tommy jumped when he heard the door being opened.

"God." He blurted. She noticed how startled he was and looked at him innocently.

"Sorry." She smiled sweetly and walked over and sat next to him.

_'Chill tom..'_ He exhaled slowly. "So, what do you want to do?" He asked.

Jude smirked. He noticed and smirked back.

"Well you know tommy.." She scooted closer to him and he started to lose his nerve.

"Yeah?" He asked lightly.

"You know.." She got off the bed and stood directly in front of him.

"Ju-" She cut him off pressing her finger against his lips and she got on his lap, straddling him and pushing him down on the bed. He tryed to talk again but this time she cut him off by saying something.

"You know tommy..." She smirked again. "Its been way too long since.." She brought her head towards his. Their lips were only a few inches apart when she stopped.

"I did this." She whispered and then smiled. She started tickling him. He quickly switched positions with her and started to tickle her back. Both smiling, laughing, and having a good time, ended up on the floor. After about 10 minutes of this jude managed to convince tommy to stop yet they continued to lay on the floor, jude laying next to him and resting her head on his chest. He had his arm around her waist. Neither noticed their positions nor did they care at the moment.

"I miss this." She said out of breath and lifted her head to look at him.

He looked back at her and laughed at her messy hair.

"What?" She felt hurt that he laughed at her comment.

"Nothing..you just look funny in my clothes." He lied, he actually loved the way she looked in them.

"Thanks tommy you sure know how to make a girl feel special." She acted hurt.

"I'm just kidding. You look great." He assured her. She looked up at him again but this time he looked different..he had a rugged look to him and he looked older. _'Oh no..'_

She pulled away from him and started to crawl backwards, trying to get away from him.

Tommy was confused by her actions and he sat up.

"Jude?" She heard lex' voice. She stopped where she was and held her legs infront of her, sobbing into her knees.

Tommy crawled over to her and put both of his arms around her trying to bring her out of whatever she was in.

She didnt look up, she couldnt look at the face of the man that touched her, not again. She wouldnt give him the satisfaction.

"Girl, look at me." He pleaded, brushing her hair out of her wet face.

"No." She cried, not letting him see her eyes.

Tommy didnt know what to do.

"Whats wrong?" He asked, obvious concern in his voice.

Judes head shot up.

"Tommy?" Her voice bled out.

"Yeah girl, who else?" He pulled her towards him in a hug.

"I cant do this..I dont know what to do anymore." She cried into his shoulder.

"What are you talking about?" He was getting more worried by the second.

"I just..when I looked at you it wasnt you I..I seen him and when you spoke I heard him and it was so real." She pulled away from him. His eyes showed understanding and comfort.

"Its alright, you're here with me..he wont touch you." He rubbed her cheek lightly.

"He threatened me..what if he hurts my mom?" The thought of him even touching her mom made her sick to her stomach. She stood up and started to walk around his room aimlessly. She needed to think things through, here she was with tommy safe at his apartment and her sister and her mom alone with some psycho? how could she do that? she left them without even thinking twice. For all she knew he could have murdered them both and he could be waiting for her to come home. She gasped. At that moment she grabbed her cellphone that she had earlier placed on the bed and dialed sadies cell phone number. Luckily, within two rings sadie answered.

"Hey sadie, hows everything going?" She was relieved just to hear her sisters voice.

Sadie laughed into the phone.

"Why'd you leave? you're missing out..lex is really cool and isnt he georgous?" She squealed.

Jude rolled her eyes at her sisters comment.

"Hows mom, is she okay?" Jude looked at tommy who was still sitting on the floor and he in return gave her a supportive look.

"Yeah I think she really likes this guy, and who wouldnt?" She smirked at lex who was carrying on a conversation with victoria yet eyeing sadie.

"Just keep your eyes open alright? theres something about him that.." Jude trailed off.

"Chill jude, as long as mom is happy..what more do you want?" Her voice was more harsh.

"Well goodnight." Jude closed the phone not wanting to put up with sadies crap.

"Everything ok?" He finally got off the floor and sat back on the bed. Jude sat next to him again.

"I'm just worried, you know?" She sighed. Her tears had dried on her face leaving it sticky yet smooth.

"I'm sorry jude..you didnt deserve this, no one deserves what that jerk did to you." He said inbetween clenched teeth.

"He will pay for that." He looked at her.

"Tommy, hes not worth it..all I want is him away from my family..especially sadie, she was flirting with him! and knowing him..he might go after her too." She bit her lip.

Tommy looked at the clock and it read 12:30.

"Well girl, we need to get some sleep, I gotta be at the studio early tomorrow." He groaned.

"Oh okay." She spoke sadly, getting up off the bed. Tommy grabbed her arm and brought her back to her sitting position.

"You going to be okay?" He asked, brushing her blonde locks out of her face.

"As long as your with me." She quietly admitted, looking up at him with her watery blue eyes.

"I hate seeing you cry." His words were full of sympathy.

"Heh yeah I probably look horrible..as usual." She pushed her hair behind her ears and whiped her dry face, it was a habit now.

"You've never looked better." He brought the palm of his hand to the back of her head and slowly pulled her towards him, she didnt resist. There was no stopping it now, this was temptation that had been bottled up for almost two years and now at the chance neither of them wanted to leave each others grasp. Tommy stopped only a hair away from jude and whispered her name, slight reality taunting his actions. She didnt want to hear anything more and she brought her lips to his lightly before tommy lost it and intensified the kiss. This went on for only a few minutes before jude leaned back on the bed, bringing tommy on top of her, neither of them breaking the kiss. She began to move her hands from the back of his neck to his back and then under his shirt. Loving the feel of his bare skin, she rubbed it ever so gently. One of tommys hands slid down to her waist and he held her, the other he used to balance himself over her. Without even noticing it himself he slipped his hand under her shirt and brushed her stomach. His touch was just too much as she giggled into the kiss. His eyes were closed the whole time..until now. He openned them smiling until he looked into the eyes of the 16 year old girl. His smile dissapeared.

"Damn it!" He rolled off of her and then sat up, burrying his face into his hands. Jude sat up slowly, slightly embarrased and pulled her shirt down because it was revealing her stomach. She was at a loss for words.

"I'm going to take a shower." He got up without another word and entered the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

No forget about it? It never happened? She was confused. Was he actually going to wake up and realize these things are happening?

She sighed, feeling sudden inspiration. Go figure. Jude got up and walked back to tommys studio. She grabbed his guitar and started strumming one chord over and over until the first word came to her, after that she sang her heart out, letting her emotions be her guide, her fingers followed.

**A/N - This was my favorite chapter so far, I hope yall feel the same way..review and tell me if you do feel the same way! thankyou again!**


	5. Chapter 5 You what?

**A/N - Ok thisis probably the longest a/n thatI have ever done and that I will ever do.First of all, thankyou for your reviews once again, they're great! Here, let me state this..this story isn't going to have the best grammar in the world and I apologize for that but despite that, I hope ya'll still read and still like? Another thing, if you are ever confused about what is going on in here PLEASE tell me so I can inform you on what is happening. Keep your reviews honest..heh, I just got my first not-so-good review and i'm kinda bummed about that but I respect honesty. One more thing, this chapter isn't that long and i'm still working on the next chapter so it might be more than a day before I post again but in the mean time please review! Now I bring you chapter 5, hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer - I do not own anything or anybody from Instant star, only my poems and my songs.**

**Chapter 5 - You what?**

_"Powerless I stand_

_Wet eyes compressed by my hands_

_Here I am crying, who knew?_

_Didnt think it was possible to shed another tear on you_

_I'm hurting, cant you see that?_

_Thru that mask you wear, do you believe that?_

_Dont try to hide from me I see right thru_

_Dont try to fix me, when you cant fix you_

_Come back to me, dont hide_

_Dont tell me another lie_

_I know how you feel, you know it too_

_I cant forget, I wont forget you_

_Dont hide behind the age_

_Lets turn the page, and let this thing resolve_

_I cant take anymore pain.._

_Tired of playing this childish game_

_But i'm not a kid, why cant you see that?.."_

"Ahhem." Tommy cleared his throat. Jude jumped and then set down the guitar.

"Sorry.." She got up and walked towards him with her eyes on the floor.

"Its ok, any other time I wouldn't have stopped you but we need to talk."

_'Here it comes.'_ She sighed.

"Yeah I guess we do." She looked up at him. He put his hand on the small of her back and guided her to the living room. Jude sat on the couch this time and tommy sat in the recliner.

"Jude..what happened in there.." He started, trying to figure out what exactly to say.

"Oh you mean this time your admitting it happen?" She shot back at him, on the verge of tears. Why did he have to say anything? saying nothing would be better..atleast then she could believe he wanted it, that it wasnt a mistake.

"Yeah." It was all he could say to that.

"I care about you jude, you know that." He admitted, realizing the tears in judes eyes.

"But i'm 16." She spat.

"Jude-"

"Heard it before tommy, we've been through this..i'm too young, your my producer, and theres sadie, cant forget about her." The tears that were trapped before were now gone, she wouldnt cry for tommy again. Not in front of him anyway.

"Yes jude those reasons are pretty sensable, dont you think?" He was now frustrated, he usually got this way whenever they discussed their friendship/relationship..whatever it was.

She laughed.

"Tommy, in case you havent noticed i'm going to be 17 in a week and even if I wasnt, i'm not a kid..and yes you are my producer but half the reason we work so well with eachother is because how we feel about eachother." She stopped for a second.

"Well atleast the way I feel about you..but anyway, and about sadie, didnt you guys break up? not trying to sound like the bad sister here but.." She started to feel a bit guilty but only about the sadie deal.

"Yeah, that is why we make good music together but still you are 16 no matter how old you act or how old you look, you are 16 and I am 22. Its illegal, I would go to jail, dont you understand that?" It pained him to talk about this but they had to get it over with, he had to explain to her once and for all that it wouldnt work and that there would never be together.

"You wouldnt go to jail tommy, my mom wouldnt do that to you." Her voice got softer.

"Tommy, I..I love you." She couldnt believe the words that escaped her lips and immediately afterwards threw her hand over her mouth.

Tommy sat there for a minute trying to process this, why? why did the harrisons have to do this to him? they use 'love' and it always got to him. He couldn't do this..he was getting mad about it.

"You dont know what love is." He spat, getting up and heading towards the guest room. He peaked in to see if there was enough blankets and pillows, and there was.

"You know where the guest room is." He said to jude and then walked towards his room.

"Goodnight." It was the last word that was said that night from either of them. Jude cried to herself on the couch, she didnt even make it to the room that night. Tommy didnt sleep that night, he layed in bed thinking. For the first time since he was a teenager he felt as if he wanted to die. He never meant to hurt jude, if anything he wanted to be the one she came to to feel loved and cared for but he always messed it up. She meant everything to him but he couldnt tell her that. How could he tell her that she didnt know what love was? she knew more about life than he did. She knew him more than he knew himself, who gave him the right to tell her that? God, he would be lucky if she even talked to him after what he said to her..hopefully she would understand, would she ever forgive him?

The sun shone through the window in the living room, hitting judes face. She oppened her eyes and her surroundings were blurry. She smelt coffee and smiled, she was at tommys..at that everything that happened the night before rushed back to her and she closed her eyes again trying to gather her thoughts. After a few minutes of this she was ready to face whatever was to come."Tommy?" Her voice cracked, god why did it always have to do that? she was so bad at covering her emotions up, but then again it was morning..that was a pretty good excuse.

Tommy was in the kitchen pouring them both a cup of coffee, when finished he walked into the living room smiling guiltily. He handed jude a cup and then sat down next to her.

"Thanks." She smiled at him.

"I'm sorry about last night, jude." His voice was full of sencerity and his eyes as well.

"Dont apologize." She was still smiling.

"I didnt mean anything I said." He assured, setting his cup on the coffee table in front of them.

"Well what you said was true, I don't know what love is..all I can do is imagine I guess, but it gives a girl hope, yanno?" She also sat her cup on the table after taking a quick sip.

"I shouldn't have said that..I dont have the right to say that seeing as though i'm still trying to figure out the concept of 'love' myself." He half-smiled.

Jude leaned over and kissed him on the cheek softly and quickly.

"We're cool quincy." He smiled at her comment. He still felt guilty for saying what he had said, and once again they were back to friends..the thing tom didnt want, he wanted so much more.

"So dont you have to get to the studio? wouldnt want darius to have a hissy fit." She smirked, feeling completely free.

"Actually yes, I do." He sighed, not wanting to leave jude.

"And I have to go back home." She sighed.

"You can come back whenever you want." He promised, getting up and starting to walk into his bedroom again.

"Why havent I been over here before? you were always so secretive about this place." She got up and walked into the guest room grabbing her coat and cell phone.

Tommy smiled to himself.

"So, you ready?" They both came out of the rooms at the same time but only one smiling.

"Nice..avoid the question." She shook her head as he continued smiling. They made their way out of the apartment and to tommys viper. The whole way to judes they sat talking about the studio and how jude missed being at G-major but how much liam hurt her. She wanted to go back but one, she didnt know if darius would take her this soon seeing as though he agreed with liam, and 2, she didnt know how well everything would work with everyone..in other words her and tommy.

Tommy stopped in front of judes house and she smiled at him sadly.

"I dont want to go." She whined.

"I'll see you later." He pushed her playfully and she got out of the car and waved goodbye.  
Jude walks into the house to find sadie and lex making out on the couch.

"Sadie!" Her voice dripping with anger.

The two pulled apart and sadie jumped up quickly.

"It's not what it looks like." Sadie tryed to lie but failed terribly.

"Oh okay so you werent just making out with him?..I guess i'm dillusional." She crossed her armsover her chest and stared at lex as if waiting for an explanation of some sort.

"Aren't you with my mom?" She finally asked, getting sick of the awkward silence. He laughed.

"Dont you remember, jude?" He got up slowly, smoothing out his shirt and then he walked towards her, when directly in front of her he put his hand on her shoulder.

"Young blondes." His eyes were narrow and stung like ice. They were burning her skin. His hand slid down her arm sending shivers down her spine. He felt her shake beneath his touch and he smiled and let go of her.

"I'll call you later sade." He winked at sadie before exiting the harrisons.

"Sadie, how could you? how could you do that to mom?" Judes anger echoed the house. Sadie sank into the couch and sighed into her hands.

"I don't know." She dropped her hands and looked at jude.

"Come on he's too young for her anyway!" She protested. Jude stood shocked.

"What happen to 'As long as moms happy'?" Jude didnt want to test this too much, she didnt want to go through the reasons why she didnt like this guy..even if sadie knew what had happen to her, she didnt want her to know it was by lex. She was in less danger not knowing.

After a few minutes of silence jude spoke again.

"We so have to get a new couch." More groaning than 'speaking'.

Sadie couldnt help but smile at her statement, her eyes following jude to the staircase.

"Hold it!" Sadie hopped off the couch and followed. Jude stopped and turned towards her confusedly.

"What?" Her voice being a little more harsh than intended.

"Where were you last night?" She asked.

"I stayed the night at kats, I told you guys that." She turned again and started to pick up the pace a little to her room.

"Jude, kat came over earlier looking for you and when we asked she said she hasn't seen you since when you guys went to the movies." Sadie smirked seeing her sister squirm.

'_Crap I knew I forgot to do something last night..'_

"I couldnt be here sadie." She turned to sadie again, looking for any sign of sympathy or compassion but she found none.

"Well if it wasnt kat at the door last night, who was it?" Jude looked at the ceiling trying to find a way out of this but she couldnt think of anything else.

"Tommy." She managed to squeak.

----------------------------------------------------

Tommy was now at the studio making his way to darius' office. When he reached the door he knocked a few times and then opened it without waiting for a response.

"T, so nice of you to show up." Darius smiled.

"Yeah, sorry I haven't been here in a few days but I needed some time." He sat in the chair shadowing the front of darius' desk.

"You're just lucky you are a good producer." Darius said half-jokingly.

"Yeah well a good producer is nothing without a good artist." He hinted and darius immediately got was he was talking about.

"That girl is stubborn, even if I told her to come back we probably wouldnt see her until a few months from now." Tommy gave him a look.

"D, she wants to come back, and she has some great lyrics, hit material even." He assured.

"Alright tom, tell her she is needed at G-major, we could use the money right now." Tommy smiled and then nodded, leaning over and shaking darius' hand.

--------------------------------------------------

Sadie had to pick her jaw up off the floor.

"Dont tell me you stayed the night with him." Jealously tainted her hollow words. Jude noticed and laughed.

"Ok, I wont tell you I stayed the night with him." She loved playing mind games with her, it was just too easy and way too much fun.

"Jude.." She followed jude into her room.

"Yes?" She asked as if she didnt know what sadie was talking about.

"Did you stay with him last night?" She asked again.

"In a way." She sat down on her bed and started daydreaming about the night before, mostly just about tommy.

"Jude!" Sadie squeaked.

"What? he picked me up and then we went to G-major and worked on some tracks and we fell asleep." The lie bounced out of her mouth and she was satisfied with it. God, what a good liar she was becoming.

"I thought you werent at G-major for a while? didn't they give you a few months off?" Sadie waited for her sisters excuse to that.

"Yeah well, darius and I made peace. I'm back." This wasnt a complete lie, she was planning on talking to darius about coming back earlier so she didnt feel as bad with this one.

"Oh." Relief washed over sadie. She still felt for tommy even though if someone asked her she would deny it til the end.

"Where's mom?" Jude changed the subject.

Sadie, starting to feel guilty again, walked towards judes bedroom door.

"Store." She didnt want to be questioned anymore about lex so she left the room.

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Days went on with jude having to put up with sadie and lex sneaking behind their moms back and she came close to telling victoria so many times but everytime she went to do it she thought about the concequences and what sadie would tell in return. But on a higher note jude was back at G-major and her and liam were even getting along. It was noon, the day before her birthday, everything was hectic around the house and the studio and she was instructed to be anywhere but either of those two places. Something was up.

"What are you guys planning?" She was being pushed out of G-major by speid.

"Well theres a certain little blonde who is supposedly a good singer and I guess its her birthday tomorrow." He let go of her and started back into the studio.

"Speid come on!" She called out before he shut the door in her face.

Jude mumbled.

"Well where am I suppose to go then?" She asked the air and looked around as if waiting for an answer. She thought about going to her studio but she grew tired of being there and sme was at G-major so there really was no point. She couldnt hang out with jamie or kat because they were at her house doing who knows what with her mom and lex. Her stomach churned when she just thought about lex.

"I'm turning 17, why do I need a party anyway?" She asked the air again, this time kicking the side walk. After walking around a while jude decided to go to the park and just spend some time to herself thinking. She sat on a bench and watched a few kids run around in the field playing football. She laughed. It reminded her of speid, wally, and kyle.

----------------------------------------------

Back at G-major everyone was trying to get everything perfect around the studio so judes birthday would turn out well.

"Darius, what do you think?" Porsha held up a red, silk dress that hung low in the front and had thin straps.

"You're not wearing that." His brotherly insticts kicked in, thought he was only teasing her.

"Not for me silly! for jude." She pouted, she'd never be able to fit in that dress, he knew that.

"Well in that case its great!" He patted his sisters shoulder and then walked out of the main room.

"You'd look great in it." Kwest had overheard their conversation and thought she needed some kind words, but the fact of the matter was she would look good in a dress like that.

"Is that for jude?" Tommy walked up to the two, eyeing the dress.

"Nope its for me." She smiled and held the dress against her slightly bigger form. Tommys expression changed and his eyes widened a bit. Kwest gave him a _'Dont say anything.'_ look but tom obviously wasn't paying attention.

"That dress is for you?" He asked stupidly.

She rolled her eyes and walked out of the room saying, "No tommy its judes."

Kwest gave him a look.

"What?" Tommy asked.

---------------------------------------------

Back at judes house -

Upstairs-

"Aww ms harrison, jude's gonna love that!" Kat watched her friend's mom wrap up a necklace that had a star charm on it.

"I hope so, thought it would go nice with that ring she always wears." Victoria added the last peice of tape to the present, securing it.

Downstairs-

Jamie and lex come through the front door.

"Got the ice, decorations, and guitar-shaped napkins." Jamie's voice echoed the living room as he walked into the kitchen, lex close in toe, to find sadie.

"Guitar-shaped napkins? how'd you pull that off?" Sadies eyes followed lex.

Jamie smiled.

"I have my ways." Sadie shook her head.

"Sadie start on the cake!" Victoria screamed from upstairs.

"Okay, I can do this." She began searching through cabinets and under the sink until finally picking out a few random bowls, pans, and stirring utensils.

"Need help?" Lex grabbed the cake mix and icing and made his way to sadie. Once behind her he put his arms around her as if he were going to give her a hug and then dropped the two packages on the counter but he waited a minute before he backed away.

"Sure." Her cheeks pink and her heart thumping fast with anxiousness.

Jamie watched the two for a few minutes and then went into the living room starting to decorate. He didnt like this guy, there was something very strange about him and he didnt want to be around him and sadie flirting anymore. How couldnt miss harrison see this? it was so obvious. Aggravated, jamie finished the living room and then went upstairs with the girls.

-------------------------------------------

"So tom, what do you have up your sleeve this year?" Tommy looked at kwest, he was remembering her last birthday and how everything went wrong. He was determined to make this birthday the best she'd ever had, but who said he had to tell kwest that?

"I dont know what you're talking about." He looked over at the clock '5:30'

Kwest shook his head dissapointedly.

"Not gonna tell your best friend? alright, I'll remember that." He tryed to play hurt but tommy knew better.

"You'll just have to wait and see." He smiled, getting up and walking out of the sound booth.

"Oh so you are planning something!" Kwest followed tommy and tryed to get more information but it was useless, tom wasnt going to crack.

Finally everything was finished both at G-major and at the house so kat called jude and told, not asked, told her that she would be spending the night with her. The whole night at kats jude tryed to get hints out of her but kat wouldnt tell anything.

The next day came rather quickly and jude was up bright and early for once. This was her day and nothing was going to screw it up, not this time, not_anybody_.

**A/N - Remember ya'll review please! and to all of you who do review, I would thank ya'll individually but i'm still not that familiar on how..hehe, thank you guys for stickin with my story! continue to review..yall give me hope:) thanks again!**


	6. Chapter 6 Gotta love Birthdays Part 1

**A/N - Hey, once again thankyou for your reviews, I love ya'll!and I tryed REALLY hard to write this quickly so I could get this out today and..if it shows I'm sorry :-\, I hope you still like it..it's not that dramatic..but the next chapter will be, that's all I'm saying hehe. I'm pretty sure it WILL take me a few days til I get the next chapter out though, not certain but probably.**

**Chapter 6 - Gotta love Birthdays Part 1**

Jude and kat had breakfast and spent the morning getting ready for her party. She had light blue eyeshadow on with black eye liner and just a dab of lip gloss. Not too much, she never liked to over do it. Also, she was wearing a blue shirt that had the words "Rock Star" on the front, plain blue jeans, and her converse. Kat on the other hand was wearing a white strapless top that tied in the back with some black jeans and some flip flops, her hair was in its usual frizzy style and she was still working on her make up.

"Feel any older miss harrison?" Kat asked, finishing the last touches of her eyeshadow.

"Oh yes, soon we're going to be doing this make up thing getting ready for my wedding and then i'll have a dozen kids and I guess my music career will go down hill from there." She laughed at her own silly preminitions.

"Well we gotta find you a husband first." Kat looked away from the mirror and over at jude, wiggling her eyebrows.

"We? i'm perfectly capable of finding a husband, I dont need help." She threw some crumpled up peice of paper that she found on the floor at kat.

"Why are we talking about this anyway? i'm 17..I dont need a husband!" Kat laughed.

"No but a boyfriend would be nice, wouldn't it?" She closed the cap to her lip gloss. Jude shrugged. Kat put the lip gloss on her dresser and then sat next to jude on the bed.

"You know speiderman likes you, right?" Jude laughed thinking kat was just playing around.

"I'm serious! you didn't know?" Kat asked surprisingly.

"Are we talking about the same speid? you know..a little taller than me, skinny, plays guitar in sme.." Jude went on trying to grasp the concept that there very well may be truth to kats comment.

"Yep." Kat smirked at jude after seeing her reaction.

"What? why are you looking at me like that?" She asked, backing her face away slightly.

"You like him, don't you?" Kat asked, smiling.

"What? I-" Judes cell phone started ringing, cutting judes sentence short. She fumbled with her pocket and finally got it out.

"Hello?" It was porsha, she told jude to get to the studio asap. Jude agreed and smiled at kat, relieved she didnt have to answer the question.

"I gotta go to the studio, you'll be at my house later?" She asked, getting off the bed.

"Yep about 6, dont have too much fun there. Save some energy for us!" She waved and jude literally ran out of the house and raced to the studio. She got there and bolted through the door. The minute she stepped in porsha pulled her into her office without letting anyone see her.

"Ok ok i'm here." She pulled her arm away, rubbing it. Porsha held the dress up and twirled it, allowing jude to see the front and back.

"What do you think?" Jude smiled and took the dress.

"It's perfect." She hugged porsha.

"Happy birthday sweetie." She then handed jude a white gold chain to go with the dress.

Jude admired it.

"I dont know what to say." She whispered.

"Just say you like it..you do like it don't you?" Porsha questioned.

Jude looked at porsha and almost laughed at her crazy words.

"Like it? I love it!" She embraced porsha again. She then insisted that jude put on the dress, it was already 1:30 and the whole get together was suppose to be in about an hour. Porsha walked out for a few minutes, letting jude change. When she came back she was speechless and for once jude felt shyness wash over her.

"That bad?" She looked down and fidgeted a bit.

"Its beautiful," Porsha insisted, holding a pair of high heels to go with it. Jude put them on, completing her birthday outfit.

"Alright, now, go to hair and make up." She instructed.

"Aww come on, porsha, I already have make up on and my hair looks halfway decent." She protested, pointing to her face and hair. Porsha smiled.

"Just go." She pushed her towards the door. Jude walked down the hallway groaning, she seriously didn't want to sit in a chair for an hour waiting for some guy to make her look like a porcelain doll, it just wasn't her. When she reached the door to the dressing room her lips curved into a frown. She opened the door slowly.

"Happy birthday!" Everyones eyes were on jude. She looked beautiful and more mature than they had ever seen her. It was sad in a way, their once 15 year old instant star was one year closer to 18.

"Aww, thanks you guys." Her eyes immediately fell on tommy who was standing in the back of the room, leaning against the wall. He smiled at her, taking notice that she was staring. Jude did the same and then looked away quickly, not wanting it to be too obvious that she was checking him out..though this wasn't the first time.

"So i'm guessing I dont have to get my make up done then?" She walked officially in the room and then went around to everyone, saying hello.

"It looks great in here, but still, you didn't have to kick me out yesterday!" The room wasn't all that decorated but it still looked great. It made her feel like a little kid again. Kwest turned on one of judes newer songs and everyone sat around talking about good times and even some bad times at the studio. Jude watched tommy from the corner of her eye and noticed him glancing over alot. She felt kind of bad, she hadn't said hello to him yet and the party had already lasted almost an hour so the first chance she got she broke away from the group and walked over to him, he was now talking to darius. When the two men seen her walk over their conversation ended. Jude hugged darius tightly and he in return patted her back in a manner to show her he couldn't breathe. She smiled, blushed, and backed away slowly.

"You look great." He smiled back at her.

"Yeah you can thank porsha for that." She giggled.

"Where is she anyway?" Darius asked, scoping out the crowd of peple.

"I think she's still in her office." She looked at tommy who seemed to be zoned out or something.

"Well, I'll leave you two to talk..happy birthday jude." Darius nudged her arm and then went to search for porsha. Jude called out 'thankyou' and then turned towards tommy.

"So.." She leaned on the wall next to him which seemed to bring him back to himself. He looked at her. Her smile faded and soon concern took its place. When she looked at him she noticed something different about him, he was pale and was dripping with sweat.

"Tommy, are you alright?" He whiped the sweat from his forehead and breathed in deeply.

"Yeah, I'm ok." He wasn't feeling that well..well it was more than that, he was a nervous wreck.

She smirked.

"Don't get sick on me quincy, it's my birthday and you still have to come to my house after this." She reminded.

He had totally forgot about that. Lex would be there...

He tensed up and started to ball his fists, jude noticed.

"Mom and lex aren't staying long.." It seemed like the right thing to say at the time.

"I don't know jude, sadie will be there." His eyes fell to the floor and he remembered their last conversation.

**Flash back**

**"Tommy you're scaring me, please say something." **

**"Sadie..I like you, I really do but..I'm sorry." **

**"Why tommy? I thought we were doing good." **

**"I just-I have feelings for someone else." **

**"I knew it! It's jude isn't it?" **

**"You don't know her." **

**"Oh don't give me that tom, it's jude..it's always been jude." **

**She got out of the car, slamming the door behind her.**

**"Sadie!"**

**End flashback**

It wasn't good, he wasn't sure how well she would take it if he did go..he never meant to hurt her but he couldn't go on being with her when he felt something for someone else, something so much more and something actually real.

"Tommy?" He looked back up and met jude's eyes.

"I want you there..I need you there." Thats all he needed to hear, it was a done deal.

"I'll be there." She smiled and nodded.

"Where is the girl of the hour?" A voice called out through the crowd. A few people pointed to jude and the person came up and hugged her.

"Georgia!" Jude felt over-whelmed.

"Hey girl, how has everything been?"

The two stood catching up and tommy felt out of place so, after giving georgia a quick hug and saying hello he walked over to kwest and started another conversation.

"Hey man, how's it goin?" Kwest asked, noticing how tense tommy seemed.

"Not much man." His eyes never leaving jude.

"You aint lookin' too good." Kwest watched him stare at jude, he was amazed.

"Tom, how long is this going to go on?" He asked, getting irritated with whatever game tommy was playing with jude, he didn't want jude to get hurt in the end, though it seemed as though it always happened that way.

It took a minute for tommy to figure out what kwest was talking about but when he did he wasn't exactly 'happy'.

"I told you, nothing is going on." His voice was emotionless.

"You're making yourself sick over it, this isn't good for you and we all know it's not good for jude." Tommy whiped some more sweat from his forehead.

"I'm fine." His eyes stinging from the salty substance.

"Is she 'fine', tom?" He asked, pointing to jude.

It hit him then, how was this affecting jude? they talked it over already, she said they were fine..they were friends again, everything was okay..right? He watched her laughing and smiling with georgia. Tonight he wanted everything to be perfect for her..he had the greatest plan for jude's birthday surprise and hopefully everything would work out fine.

Kwest took a sip of his drink and then spoke again.

"You need to tell her tom, stop denying it." And with that he walked into the group of people, leaving the words to eat at tommy's thoughts.

Now it was around 5:30ish and everyone started to say their goodbyes, except the few that were going to jude's house.

"Georgia, you are coming right?" Jude pleaded, she missed georgia so much. Don't get me wrong..darius was a good manager but georgia had always been there for her and she understood what she was going through most of the time.

"I don't know sweets, I have to catch a plane back to the states tomorrow morning and I still have to find a place to stay and get settled in for tonight." She didn't want to dissapoint the young girl but, what could she do?

"I'm sure tommy wouldn't mind if you stayed with him." Jude offered.

"Well, I wouldn't want to intrude." Georgia knew he'd let her stay with him for the night but she didn't want to invite herself over there.

"Tommy!" Jude yelled across the room at tommy who was sitting at a random table, watching people talk and fool around. He got up and walked over to the two women.

"Yes?" He asked.

Georgia smiled, '_still the same tommy..jude calls and he jumps.'_

"Can georgia stay at your apartment tonight? I want her to come to my party and she needs a place to stay." Judes excitement clearly showing through her voice. He looked at georgia and in return she shrugged.

"Yeah you can stay." He smiled at her warmly.

"Alright then." Jude said, hugging tommy.

"Thanks." She backed away.

"Anything for a friend." He then smiled at georgia.

"Alright well you want to go get your stuff unpacked?" Tommy asked, walking towards the door.

"Yeah, my stuff is in the car." She said.

"We'll be over later jude." He assured. They all walked out of the dressing room and then out of the studio.

Jude grabbed a ride with kwest who was also coming to her party. They didn't talk much in the car, after their last conversation there wasn't much to say. They reached the house and jude jumped out of the car, kwest laughed.

"Slow down!" He yelled as she ran up the driveway.

"Yeah right!" She said with a smile.

She oppened the door...

**A/N- Keep reviewing please and I thank you guys again, ya'll are my inspiration!**


	7. Chapter 7 Gotta love Birthdays Part 2

**A/N - It is now 2:55 in the morning..I am tired out of my mind and I spent the whole day writing this..didn'tthink it was possible for a story to wear you out but boy was I wrong! Thank you for the reviews, once again yall are the best! Did ya'll see instant star? that was cute..but that preview..I'm seriously going crazy thinking about the season coming to an end soon, isn't that sad? Ok i'm done babbling..Hope you like it**

**Disclaimer - Forgot to add this last chapter, I do not own Instant star or any of the characters, just my songs/poems and ideas**

**Chapter 7 - Gotta love Birthdays Part 2**

"Happy birthday!" Her other crowd of friends said in harmony. No matter how many times she heard that phrase, it never got old.

"Hey everybody." She smiled. There was a banner hanging over the stair case that read "Happy 17th Jude!" She walked towards jamie who was trying to avoid her attention.

"Mr andrews, I could recognize the hand writing from a mile away." He rolled his eyes.

"Thanks." She laughed and hugged him.

"Just wait til you see the napkins." Sadie interupted. Jude gave her a weird look and then decided to ask about it later. Kwest then walked in with a couple of presents he brought from G-major. Jude's eyes lit up.

"Hey kwest." She walked towards him and smiled sweetly.

"Nope, not til' everyone is here." He swiftly switched which hand he was holding the presents with and smiled at jude.

"Fine." Jude pouted.

"Jude, come here." Victoria's voice came from upstairs once again. Jude did as she was instructed and walked upstairs to her mom's room.

"Hey mom." She smiled at victoria.

"Happy birthday." She extended her arm, jude came to her and took her hand. Victoria held a small box with her other hand.

"I have something for you." She handed her the box. Jude looked at her weirdly.

"Just open it." She urged her daughter. She openned it to find a locket.

"I know it's not exactly your style but.." Jude opened the locket and there was a picture of her, sadie, and her mom and dad together. It had been taken when sadie and jude were very young. The locket was shaped as a heart and had a crystal on the front of it. In the picture they looked so happy, whatever happened to that? She then remembered yvette. Judes eyes were now shining, she was holding back the tears.

"I didn't want to make you cry, but, I thought you would like to have that." Her mother's arm made it's way around jude and she tightened her grip.

"Thanks mom." Jude cleared her throat and and whiped her eyes.

"That's not your only present but..we'll save the rest for later, k?" She whiped a tear off of her daughter's face that she must have missed. Jude smiled.

"K."

"Alright, well, I am going to go see what lex is doing." Victoria got up anxiously and started towards the door. Jude bit her lip and watched her mom go. The picture was getting to her, lex was getting to her, but..she promised herself today was going to be a good day and she didn't want to break that promise. She put the locket back in it's box and went into her room, placing it carefully on her dresser. Just then she heard the doorbell ring and walked quickly down the hall way and down stairs.

"Hey you guys!" She smiled as speid, wally, and kyle walked in. They all smiled and handed her envelopes.

"For me?" She asked innocently.

"Nope. Its the rent for this month." Speid joked.

"Oh..well that works too." She played along, knowing he was kidding.

As soon as she closed the door, someone knocked. She opened it once more.

"Tommy! Georgia!" She suddenly forgot about everyone else and ran up and hugged the two.

"So this is the famous tom quincy?" Those few moments where she forgot about everything and everyone else faded and she wished she could have them back, why do these things happen to her? Jude turned to face lex and her mom. Tommy and georgia stepped inside the house and shut the door.

"That would be me." Tommy's eyes were like daggers aimed towards the other man. Lex smirked.

"I've heard alot about you." Lex extended his hand, wanting tommy to take it..almost in competition if that makes sense.

"Really, now?" Tommy took his hand and gripped it tightly. Lex was loving this, he knew jude told tommy, why else would he be acting this way? Lex had the charm to fool anybody and he knew tommy wasn't fooled, that's what was so fun about it.

"Yeah, this is my producer." Jude said, trying to take tommy's attention off of lex but it didn't work. Tommy's eyes were still on lex's. Was he suppose to feel intimidated? by this chump? tommy wanted to laugh at this guys nerve but he knew now wasn't the time. The two dropped their hands at the same time.

"So you're lex?" Tommy said inbetween clenched teeth, trying to make his question as simple and clear as possible.

"That would be me." He mimiced tommy. Tom half-smiled and squinted his eye a bit.

At that, the doorbell rang. Jude mentally thanked god as she opened it.

"Kat! where have you been?" She asked, pulling her friend into the house and pointing to tommy and lex.

"I went to the sto-oh..." Kat looked back at jude and gave her a look that basically said 'Good luck'.

"So, anybody hungry?" Victoria sensed the tension between the two guys and decided to break it, and it worked. A few people had already eaten at G-major so there were only a few eating. Tommy, jude, and georgia weren't hungry, kwest on the other hand decided to eat again. Tommy and Georgia walked over to one side of the room and the others walked to the other.

"Tom, what was that about?" Georgia asked, she knew tommy and how mad he got. She had only seen him mad like that once before, it wasn't over something stupid, it had actual importance behind it.

Tommy, still trying to regain calmness, looked at georgia.

"I don't like him." He stated bluntly, she laughed.

"That's so hard to believe." He didn't find it funny.

"Tommy, I can feel the heat projecting off of you from over here, what is going on?" Georgia questioned.

"That's Ms. Harrison's boyfriend." Tommy glared at lex who occasionally looked over at tommy, smiling.

"And?" Georgia couldn't figure out why that had anything to do with why tommy wouldn't like him.

"I just..don't like him." He looked at georgia with pure worry. '_This has to be bad'_, she thought.

Jude was sitting with Kat, sme, and jamie on the couch. They were talking about their most embarrassing moments, while eating.

"So kat, what was your most embarrassing moment?" Kyle asked.

"Oh jeez..um, well..I guess when I was little I had to do this dance recitle thing and I kinda tripped and fell in front of everyone."

"Oh yeah, and...and then you ran off stage crying... for the longest everyone at school talked about it... I remember that." Jamie said in between laughs. Kat punched his arm.

"Oww." He rubbed his freshly stinging skin.

Jude wasn't paying much attention, she finally built up the courage to look over at tommy. He was talking to georgia. She didn't know what about but, she kinda figured he was going to tell her eventually about lex.

"Jude? you going to answer the question?" She looked at speid.

"Huh?" She didn't hear a word he had said.

"Most embarrassing moment?"

"Oh, I could tell you that one." Jamie smiled at jude.

"Don't you dare." She threatened.

"Alright kids, you guys have fun but not too much fun, we'll be back around 11:00" Victoria and lex walked towards the door.

"Be good." Lex looked around the room, his eyes stopping at two particular people before he left with victoria.

"Ok, now the fun starts." Speid said, jumping off the couch and running towards the radio. He turned it up loud. Jude's head started to ache a bit, everyone else seemed to enjoy it though so she kept it to herself.

Sadie got up and started dancing, she grabbed kwest's hand and brought him up to her. Jude was speechless, watching sadie. Kwest was smiling, obviously he was having a good time, oblivious to her other relationship. Tommy sat and watched, slightly amused.

Jude walked over to tommy who was still sitting next to georgia.

"Tommy, kwest is going to get hurt." She said.

"It's just a dance." He said, trying to convince her that it was harmless, she disagreed.

"Yeah and it's just sadie." She reminded.

"He's a big boy, he can handle himself." He insisted.

She sighed.

"Alright I give, you win." She said, sitting next to tommy. He smiled.

"I didn't know this was a contest." She smiled back.

"Georgia, you having fun?" Jude asked, remembering the older woman was on the other side of him.

"Yes actually, I miss being around this." She said, motioning her hand towards all the people.

"You're not missing much." Jude joked.

"Come on jude, lets dance." Speid said, pulling her up by her arms.

"Speid, I don't really dance." The whole experience with shay suddenly replayed in her head.

"Neither do I." He smiled, putting his hands on her waist. Her hands automatically went to his neck. The dance wasn't exactly slow, but it wasn't a fast one either. Wally and kyle spotted jude and speid and smirked evily. They ran full speed into the two of them forcing jude to hit the corner of the couch hard with her stomach. Speid was pushed into jude, adding more weight to the force. He landed on top of her. Speid immediately got up and jude lay on the floor with a few drops of blood on her lips that had escaped her mouth.

"Jude!" Tommy rushed over to her side and put his hand on her stomach.

"Ow." She winced.

"That hurts?" He asked, pulling his hand away.

"Yeah." She managed to whisper.

"I can't breathe." And with that she passed out.

Tommy picked her up in one swift move and started towards the door.

"I'm taking her to the hospital, someone open the door!" His voice quivering. Sadie raced to the door and opened it. Everyone ended up going with him, in seperate cars. When they got there he took her to the emergency room. Sadie was quick with the paper work and everyone sat, waiting to see if jude was okay. Tommy was pacing back and forth in the waiting room, everyone else was sitting. He couldn't take much more of this. How could something like this happen? One minute everyone was having a good time and the next..it just wasn't common.

"You two! how could you be so ignorant?" Tommy snapped, standing in front of wally and kyle.

"Dude, it was an accident. Don't blame them." Speid jumped in. Tommy didn't want to hear it, he wasn't in the mood.

"And you," He turned to speid, "She said she didn't dance, so why didn't you just leave it at that?" He was too irritated to stop. Just then, victoria burst through the door with lex.

"Sadie! is she okay? what happened?" She ran to sadie.

"We were just playing around and jude fell against the edge of the couch, speid fell on her and then when he got up she had blood on her lips and she passed out."

Sadie summed up what had happen. Victoria sent speid a death glare.

"Excuse me are you Ms. Harrison?" A man wearing a white coat and glasses asked while looking down at a clipboard with a bunch of papers attached.

"Yeah, thats me." She answered, a bit nervously.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news, may I speak with you alone for a second?"

**A/N - Once again take note that its late and it may not be the best I could've done but..I do hope you like it..Please continue sending me some reviews, I love reading them:) OH! and sorry about the "Porsha" instead of "Portia" thing, thought it was spelled portia but I was going by this website that I no longer trust, heh. Ok review people..Goodnight! for me anywayz...**


	8. Chapter 8 False accusations

**A/N - Thats the most reviews i've ever got! Awsome, thanks you guys! In case ya'll haven't noticed..I like writing alot of dialogue. Well it's not that I like it, I just tend to do it without noticing. Well I got bored today so I wrote this. Hope ya'll like it!**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant star or any characters. I do own my songs/poems and ideas.**

**Chapter 8 -** **False accusations**

Victoria's heart was beating like crazy, she got up and began to walk towards the doctor.

"Well first, the good news is..she's going to be okay." She sighed in relief.

"What's the bad news?" She questioned, hoping she wouldn't regret asking.

"She lost the baby." Victoria's eyes widened.

"Excuse me?" Her voice airy.  
"The impact on her stomach was just too hard, i'm sorry." The doctor's voice was was full of sympathy.

"No, she wasn't pregnant..I don't think we're talking about the same girl, she's blonde, small framed, 17 years old." She was having too much of a hard time believing this.

"I'm sorry ma'am but, the test cleary shows that she was infact pregnant."

"But..." Victoria looked back at sadie and everyone else in the waiting room.

"When she hit her stomach it knocked the wind out of her so we are giving her oxygen just until she is okay to breathe on her own again, it's going to hurt her at first because she bruised her ribs a bit but nothing too serious, she has woken up so you can see her but only for a moment, she needs her rest." The doctor said, reading the girl's information off his papers.

"She has to stay over night?" Victoria was still trying to consume the fact that her youngest daughter was pregnant. She had a feeling of who it was but she was doing a pretty good job of hiding her anger.

"It would be for the best." The doctor said. Victoria nodded, tears running down her cheek.

"Wait, what about the blood?" Victoria asked.

"Oh, when she fell she bit her lip pretty hard. Thats all." He assured.

"Oh..what room?" She asked.

"115B..right through those doors." He pointed through the swinging doors that seperated the patients from the family members. She nodded.

"I'm sorry." He said once again and then walked away.

Victoria walked to the waiting room with accusing eyes directed towards a certain person, but, she stopped in front of sadie.

"Is she okay?" Lex asked, grabbing victoria's arm.

"She was pregnant.." Victoria's voice was filled with pain, she ignored lex.

"What? the clinic said-" She cut herself off, putting her hand over her mouth.

"Clinic? you knew!" Victoria raised her voice a bit.

"Mom, it's not like that." Sadie said, looking down at her hands.

"Was? what do you mean was? is she okay?" Tommy asked, walking over from the other side of the room.

Victoria looked at him with sharp eyes. She walked slowly in his direction.

"Tom, you did this didn't you!" She angrily hissed.

"What?" Tommy couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I knew I shouldn't have let jude work with you, you always had a thing for her! Especially after the tabloids..the picture of you with her at the peir.. and now this! How could you? she's only 17! this won't be the last you hear about it! So help me god, you will be in prison if it's the last thing I do!"

Tommy was outraged, he didn't know what to say to that, all he could do was shake his head with his mouth agape. His eyes floated over to lex who was enjoying the show. Tommy walked over to him and without anyone expecting it, he punched him in the face and lex fell to the ground. Sadie and victoria knelt down to his side and started to comfort him. Tom seen the receptionist at the front desk grab the phone and dial a number, he figured she was calling the police so he turned and walked out of the hospital, kwest and georgia followed.

"Tom!" Kwest shouted, picking up the pace, trying to catch up with his friend, georgia right behind him. Tommy didn't answer, he couldn't answer, he just kept walking. He stopped at his viper and got in but before he could pull out of the parking garage kwest and georgia stopped him by opening the passenger door.

"Tom, calm down." Kwest said.

"Calm down? CALM DOWN? They think I got jude pregnant!" Tommy said, his hands were shaking uncontrollably.

"Did you?" Kwest asked, stupidly. Tommy gave him a look.

"I never had sex with her!" He spat.

"Tom calm yourself down and turn off the car!" Georgia yelled. He was still shaking as he turned the key backwards.

"I would never do that, she is only 17. I'm not stupid and like I said before I'm not that guy!" He had already convinced the two, not that he had to..they knew he wasn't stupid enough to do something like that.

"What do you have against lex? why did you punch him?" Kwest asked, sitting next to tommy. Tommy tensed even more. That jerk was still inside the hospital, he didn't mean to lose it and punch him but he was getting away with what he done to jude and tommy couldn't do anything about it.

"Tom, what did he do?" Georgia asked, she was still standing outside of the car, leaning down and looking in.

Tommy didn't want to break jude's promise but he couldn't do it anymore, he couldn't keep this burden inside.

"He raped her." His eyes were burning, he felt as though he was about to cry but he held the emotions back as best as he could.

Georgia gasped and kwest then realized how tommy felt, he felt like jude's brother and he couldn't stand the fact that that had happened to her either.

"Why didn't you say anything before?" Kwest also tensed.

"She told me not to." He groaned, the image of her after it had happened popped into his head and he felt miserable. He was helpless, victoria wasn't going to believe him, sadie might but, what good would that do?

"Tom, don't worry. We will settle this." Georgia said, her voice was flat. She loved jude like she was her own and this guy was not going to get away with this.

---------------------------------------

Victoria and sadie walked down the long, cold, corridor to jude's room. Lex stayed in the waiting room with Jamie, kat, and sme who all felt uncomfortable around the guy.

When the mother and daughter reached the room jude was sleeping so they just sat there staring. She had an oxygen tube in her and her lips were red from the blood stain.

"Mom.." Sadie started, watching her mom cry.

"Yeah?" Victoria's voice was very timid, she sniffed the air.

"I don't think tommy did it." Sadie said honestly, she wasn't going to tell her about jude being raped but, she didn't want tommy to be blamed for something he didn't do.

"Saide." Victoria's eyes fell on jude whose eyes just opened. Victoria walked up to her daughter and grabbed her hand.

"Hey hun."

"What happen?" Jude asked, noticing she wasn't in her own bed.

"Where is everyone?" She continued.

"You're at the hospital." Victoria started.

Jude watched sadie who was giving her a sympathetic look. She then walked over and explained what exactly had happened earlier that night. Jude didn't understand why she was at the hospital, all she did was fall..no biggie, right?

"Sadie, go tell someone else they can come in." Sadie nodded, hugged jude and then walked out.

"Jude..." Victoria started, jude sensed anger in her mother's voice and was a little scared to answer.

"Yeah?" She finally got the nerve. Victoria took a mintue to gather her feelings about the situation.

"The doctor said you lost the baby, why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?" She asked.

"What?" Jude looked down at her stomach, brining her hands to it. Victoria stood there for a minute before speaking again.

"It was tommy's wasn't it?" Jude's head shot up and her face was red, she was about to cry.

"What? Mom-"

"Jude, dont make excuses for him. He did it, I know he did."

"No mom, it wasn't tommy! he wouldn't do something like that!" She instantly regreted saying that.

"Something like what? have sex with you? I hardly believe that." Her mom spat.

"It wasn't tommy!" Jude was getting frustrated and she couldn't hold the secret much longer.

"Then who jude? WHO?" Her mom asked.

"IT WAS YOUR BOYFRIEND!" She started crying hysterically. Victorias tears were now gone and anger was the only thing left, she dropped judes hand.

"Now, I know your father and my divorce upset you but that doesn't mean you need to go and blame innocent people for something they didn't do! Don't cover tommy up, I know it was him."

"No mom, you DON'T know! You're too wrapped up in your personal life to know what goes on with my life! I'm not some slut!"

"Don't say lex did this to you, don't hurt me just to cover up the fact that you are having sex with your producer!"

Jude had heard enough and couldn't take much more. Her mom thought that low of her?

"Tommy didn't do it mom." She used her last bit of strength to strain those words out. Her voice was raw from yelling and trying to convince. Victoria looked away from her daughter in disbelief.

"I'll be here tomorrow to pick you up." With that she left. Jude sobbed to herself. She was pregnant? She could've had a baby? In a way she was relieved that she wasn't going to have the baby but then again in another way she felt bad for losing it, I guess it was just common to feel that way. Kat walked in.

"Jude, are you okay?" Kat ran up to her friend and grabbed her hands, they were shaking.

"Kat, where is tommy?" Jude's voice was scratchy and her tears drownded out most of the sentence. All kat could here was 'Tommy'

"Um, he punched lex after... your mom accused him of... having sex with you." She said slowly. Jude looked at kat.

"He didn't do it kat, he wouldn't." She said, kat nodded. Kat knew how tom felt about her, he wouldn't ruin it by doing something so stupid.

"I love him." Jude's voice was almost officially gone now so kat just nodded again and then smiled.

"I know..It's alright, everything will be okay." She assured, she kissed her friends hand and then let go of her.

"We'll talk tomorrow." She finished, walking out the hospital door. Jude almost immediately fell asleep.

Kat walked back into the waiting room. Victoria and lex were outside with the police who had finally came. Lex didn't press charges, he didn't want more attention drawn to his awkward situation and victoria decided to get into the whole tommy/jude thing later once she knew more. The two then left together.

"I want to see her." Jamie said, getting up and walking towards kat. Sme followed.

"She needs sleep, she has been through alot." Jamie sighed and agreed.

The 5 of them left the hospital.

**A/N - Alright well...tell me if you guys liked it or not? I wasn't too sure about this chapter so..I guess i'll see.**


	9. Chapter 9 Never give up

**A/N - Ok ya'll I am speechless...over 20reviews I got last chapter, that's insanely crazy! I love it! well..I have a bit of writers block..heh and it took me forever to write this and it might take me a few days to get the next one out, I know i've said that before but I seriously mean it this time. I want this story to be good so I don't want to rush it..if I get a burstof inspiration and start writing though, it'll probably be out tomorrow :) thanks again and keep reviewing, k?**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant star or any characters, just my poems and my own ideas**

**Chapter 9 - Never give up**

Jude opened her eyes to find herself shivering. The air was extremely cold and she was a little confused about where she was, the room was white and it smelled very clean. She looked over to find tommy sitting in the chair next to the hospital bed. He had his face in his hands and he sat perfectly still. She tryed to speak but her voice wouldn't come out so she reached her hand out and softly brushed his hand. He looked up and smiled. She noticed his eyes were red like he had been crying, she frowned at him.

"Hey girl." He scooted his chair closer to the bed and leaned over the rail that seperated him and jude.

She smiled at him, not being able to speak.

"You feelin' okay?" He asked.

She nodded slowly.

"Well.." He watched jude's eyes, she didn't have to speak for him to know how she felt.

"Your mom thinks the baby was mine." Jude smiled uncomfortably and her lips were shaking.

"I know." Her voice barely came out but he was happy to hear anything from her.

"I can't stay long." He didn't want to dissapoint her but he couldn't be around when her mom got there.

"Yeah.." She knew he couldn't be there, yet he was the only one she wanted there.

"Heh, darius is gonna love this." She said.

"He'll understand once I explain the situation." Tommy assured.

"What? tommy, no. You cant tell Darius." She pleaded.

"Jude I have to." He stated.

"Please?" She asked, she never asked for too much and for him to deny her request would be impossible.

There was an awkward silence for a few minutes, tommy sat thinking and jude looked like she was trying to figure out things.

"Are you going to be okay going home with.._him_ there?" He asked..he couldn't even say his name. He knew she wouldn't be okay.

"I kinda.." Her voice was raspy so she cleared her throat, it helped a little.

"I kinda told mom lex did it..but she didn't believe me." He nodded, it wasn't unusual that her mother didn't believe him. This kind of thing use to happen all the time when tommy was younger, he'd say one thing but people would believe another just because of his looks and his career.

"She didn't believe me tommy." Her eyes were developing tears, the crystals hung on the rims of her eyes.

"She will." He assured, putting one of his hands over hers, which immediately warmed her heart.

A single tear slid down her cold cheek as she watched his hand. Finally looking up at tommy, she smiled.

"Tommy?" She started, her voice getting raspy again.

"Yeah?" He asked, full concentration on her.

"Never leave me?" She asked, the slightest hope in her weak voice.

"Never." He said, whiping her tear away.

She smiled and he leaned towards her, then kissed her forehead but afterwards only backing away a little, he looked into her loving eyes.

"Girl?" He asked, his eyes were still red from earlier.

"Yeah?" She lightly retorted.

"I l-"

"Tommy! what are you doing here?" Sadie asked, running towards him.

"You shouldn't be here, if my mom sees you.." She continued.

"I had to see jude." He explained, he was being pulled away from her by sadie.

"Look, you have to go." She said, pushing him towards the door. His eyes never left jude.

"But-"

"Tommy go! she'll be here any second!" Sadie said, pushing him again. Tommy nodded towards jude and then walked down the hall cautiously and fastly.

"I don't want to see her." Jude said, staring blankly at the wall in front of her.

"Jude, she..she told me what you said." Sadie walked over to her sister and sat on the bed next to her.

"Why did you lie?" Sadie asked, her face was turned from jude.

"Sadie, I didn't lie." Jude looked towards the door, her mom entered the room, jude then looked away.

"Release forms are filled out, we can leave." She said, avoiding jude's eyes, she pulled in a wheelchair to get her to the car.

Once they were in the car jude stayed silent. She didn't want to be around the two people who didn't believe her, why would she? so much for family and trust.

When they reached the house victoria got out quickly and went to go get lex to help jude out.

"Where is she going?" Jude asked sadie who had also been quiet the whole way home.

"To get lex so we can get you out." Sadie said.

"No, he will not touch me." Jude snapped, opening the door herself and pulling herself up by the top of the car. Sadie jumped out and put her hand around jude's waist. Jude winced and clenched her eyes shut.

"Look, I can't get you in there alone." She said, closing the car door.

"Well then I'll make it in there without anyones help." She said stubbornly.

"Right." Sadie said sarcastically. Right then lex and Ms. Harisson came outside. Victoria seen jude leaned against the car and looked at lex.

"Jude, lex is going to-"

"No, he is not going to touch me!" Jude pushed herself off the car and started walking slowly to the house, sadie walked behind her with her hands close to judes hips, if she started to fall she wanted to catch her. With every step jude took the pain got worse but she finally made it inside the house.

"I swear..that girl." Victoria said, looking up at lex who smiled back.

"She'll come around." He played it off so smoothly, he acted like he was actually concerned and that he actually cared for victoria.

"Well look, I have to take sadie to her dads..it's going to be a while before i'm back, will you be okay here with jude? I mean, I know you guys don't get along that great." Lex smiled at that, him alone with jude? oh yes. This would be great.

He grabbed her hands.

"We'll be fine." He kissed her hands and she smiled at his gesture.

"I'll go get sadie for you." He said, letting go of her hands. She nodded.

He turned and walked down the paved driveway and then up the steps til' he reached the door. He had a skip in his walk, this was the first time he would be alone with jude since the last time they were...together. He opened the door as sadie was coming out. He smiled seductively at sadie. She couldn't help but smile back. They hadn't had much time alone either, jeez having a girlfriend, an affair, and just a girl to screw around with was hard to manage. She walked passed him, her chest brushing against him. He smiled even wider.

Sadie threw a few bags she had brought into the back seat and then got in the passengers side. Victoria smiled and then stepped in the car as well.

Lex waved and watched the girls pull out of the driveway. This was going to be a good day, he thought to himself.

----------------------------------------

Tommy was now back at the apartment, georgia ended up calling the airport and canceling her flight. After what had happen last night and everything that was going on there was no way she was leaving. Tommy tryed to convince her multiple times that there was no reason to stay and that he had it under control but she didn't listen, she cared too much about jude.

"What are we going to do?" Tommy asked, watching georgia dial a bunch of numbers on her cell phone and then scribble things down on a notepad.

She held out her finger and pointed it in his direction as she listened into the phone, after a few seconds she scribbled something else down.

"What are you doing?" He asked, getting frustrated with her silence.

She closed her phone and wrote a few more words down.

"We are going to get her the best lawyer out there." Georgia said, pushing the notepad across the table at him.

He read all the different names off the sheet of paper.

--------------------------------------

Lex turned his head to see jude sitting on the couch, clutching her ribs. She was in pain already, this was going to make it even better, he thought. He closed the door which caught jude's attention.

"Where's mom?" She asked, realizing the echo that followed, the house was empty. Jude frantically tryed to push herself up from the couch.

"She went to take sadie to your dad's..we're here alone." He came up to her and started to fumble with his belt.

"No!" She scrambled to her feet. Her ribs were hurting her very badly but she ignored it the best she could.

She started to run but she wasn't fast enough. He grabbed her by her shoulders and forced her to the floor.

He stratled himself over her and put pressure on her stomach, she cried as she looked into his eyes.

"Now jude, that stunt you pulled at the hospital wasn't very nice." His hair was in his eyes now and he was sweating. She broke one hand free and slapped him across his face. He smiled, grabbing her hand and once again restraining it with the other, above her head. He only used one hand to do this.

"That was cute." He chuckled.

"Now you're just lucky that you're mother has feelings for me and believed me." He had his belt off now and his shirt also, he did this with his free hand.

"It's kind of sad, isn't it? your mother believing me over you, her own daughter." Jude turned her face from him. His words cut like a knife at her heart and it was killing her slowly.

He took off his undershirt and his chest was exposed.Afterwards, he unbuttoned her jeans and began toslide them down.

"Please don't" It's the only thing she could think of to say. He didn't listen..

**A/N - Keep reviewing you guys!**


	10. Chapter 10 Everything has to fall

**A/N - Still have writer's block --..hate it! sigh thanks you guys for sticking with me and thankyou for your reviews, they mean the world to me :). I promise..the next chapter will have more drama..well I will try my best anyway, please continue reviewing and here is chapter 10..**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant star or any characters from Instant star, just my ideas and songs/poems**

**Chapter 10 - Everything has to fall apart sometime**

Lex silenced her and succeeded in getting her pants below her hips.

"Just as I remember." He said with a smirk plastered on his face. She didn't want to hear anything that he was saying.

He unbottoned his own pants and began to unzip them when..

"LEX! GET THE HELL OFF OF HER!" Victoria screamed, running towards her daughter.

"Vicky! I was just-" He pulled away from jude quickly.

"Yeah I know exactly what you were JUST doing! Get the hell out of my house!" Jude couldn't move, when he had sat on her she felt herself go numb and the feeling wasn't going away.

Lex tryed once more to explain,

"GET OUT!" She wouldn't let him, he finally gathered his clothes and ran out of the door.

Ms. Harrison looked down at her daughter whose eyes were cold and distant.

"Honey.." She wrapped her arms around her and started to cry. Jude stayed silent.

Sadie rushed through the door and seen jude on the floor with her pants pulled below her hips, she gasped.

"Oh my god." She threw her hand over her mouth and started crying. She didn't think lex was capable of something like this, he seemed so sweet and all when he was with her. He never rushed her to do anything, but then again she never disagreed with any of his ideas. She felt so guilty.

"He raped me mom," Jude finally spoke.

"You didn't believe me." Her voice was also distant. Victoria brought jude closer to her and sadie broke down and fell to the floor next to them, crying.

"I'm so sorry." Victoria cried into judes hair. Jude still couldn't feel anything and couldn't move, if she would have been able she would have ran away from the two, far away. They didn't love her, they didn't believe her..there was no use for her here. They stayed like this for a while, not wanting to face the reality of the situation. Jude's cell phone had rang multiple times but she couldn't move her hand to reach it and she wasn't about to ask her mom or sister to answer it for her. Sadie's phone started to ring a few seconds after. Sadie whiped her eyes and fumbled with her purse, finally picking up her cell phone. She flipped it open without caring who it was.

"Hello?"

"Sadie? is jude with you?" Sadie closed her eyes.

"Tommy, not right now, ok?" She was about to hang up on him but jude stopped her.

"Sadie, give me the phone." Jude said, flatly. Sadie hesitantly gave her the cell phone.

"Tommy?" The person on the other end was the only thing that mattered to her. She wanted him to be with her, there, right now.

"Jude, why was sadie crying? what happened?" He asked.

"He tryed it again." She said bluntly. Jude waited for his response but there was none, nothing came from the other end.

"Tommy?" She asked, her emotions catching up with her.

"You won't have to worry about him anymore." He promised.

"Tommy, no. Don't do anything stupid!" She pleaded, finally being able to move, she pulled herself from her mother's grip. He sat there looking at georgia and then out his apartment window, then back at georgia, it was a never ending cycle.

"I'll be there in a few minutes, tell sadie to pack some clothes for you." He said and then closed the phone, put it in his pocket, and walked towards the door.

"Tom where are you-" He shut the door behind him and walked quickly down the hall to the elevator.

"Going.." She sighed to herself and figured something else happened with jude.

-------------------------------------

"Umm.." Jude managed to button her pants. She grabbed her side with one hand and with the other she pushed the floor to bring herself up.

"Sadie, can you pack a few things for me?" She asked as nicely as possible. She was expecting her mom to flip on her and tell her not to even think about it but her mom said nothing, sadie was a bit shocked though.

"What?" Sadie got off the floor and walked towards jude, taking her cell phone back.

"Tommy said to." She stated. Sadie was jealous yet again but she was getting use to how tommy felt for jude. She nodded silently and made her way upstairs. Jude walked over to the couch slowly, once again, and fell into the softness.

Victoria sat hunched over on the ground, she stared at her hands that were shaking uncontrollably.

Jude didn't feel the least bit guilty about how she was treating her mom, why should she? she believed some guy she had just met over her. A few minutes passed and the doorbell rang.

"Come in." Jude said as loudly as she could, it hurt her to speak too loud.

Tommy walked in, his face was ghostly white. She couldn't help but stare at him. Walking to her slowly, he ignored her mother's position on the floor.

"You ready?" He asked, pulling her up carefully.

She nodded in reassurance.

"Sadie!" He called and just a few seconds later sadie came down stairs with a few small bags. He took them from her with his free hand, his other was around jude's waist.

"Thanks. We'll be back for the rest later." Sadie opened her eyes widely. '_The rest? I thought she was only going for a couple of days..'_ Sadie thought to herself. Victoria still sat on the floor oblivious to what was occuring around her, she didn't object.

Tommy carried her bags in one hand and held jude securely with the other. They made it to the car and then he carefully helped her into the passengers seat before putting her stuff in the back. He got in and watched jude for a few seconds before starting the car. Jude felt his eyes on her so she turned towards him and slightly smiled.

"What?" She asked, her voice was raw again.

"I really don't know." He took a deep breath and then punched the steering wheel. She jumped, she had never seen tommy like this and it scared her.

"Tommy?"

He looked at her again and this time brought his hands to his face and leaned back into the seat, after rubbing his face his hands dropped back to the steering wheel.

"I'm sorry, Jude." He spoke from his heart.

"Don't be." She retorted.

"I said I'd never let anyone hurt you again and then-"

"I said don't be, you couldn't have done anything." She said, looking out the window and remembering lex' smirk. It disgusted her. Tommy said nothing more. They drove to his apartment in silence. Once they got there tommy grabbed jude's bags once again and then helped her out of the car, as he did before. They took the elevator to his room and he helped her inside the door.

"Home sweet home." Jude said smiling, tommy also smiled at the thought but then seen georgia eyeing him, it ruined the moment.

"Home?" Georgia asked, getting up off the couch. Jude took her bags from tommy politely and told him she could get to the guest room by herself. He quickly told her to put her stuff in his room because georgia was staying in the guest room, she nodded and walked away slowly.

"Tom, what are you doing?" Georgia asked. Tommy was still trying to figure that out himself.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He stated, walking past her and into the kitchen, he opened the refidgerator door.

"She can't live with you tom, the press would have a field day." She exclaimed, following him.

He slammed the frigde door.

"What do you want me to do georgia? huh?" He asked, frustrated. Just then jude came out of tommy's room.

"Georgia, I thought you had to go to the states." She sat in tommy's recliner carefully.

"You think I would leave you at a time like this?" Sha asked, sitting on the couch. Tommy did the same but avoided jude's glare.

"Tommy, you told her?"

**A/N - I know I know..not that interesting but writer's block does that to ya..I tryed tho..heh..okay well once again I'll try to make the next chapter more interesting..Review you guys, k:)**


	11. Chapter 11 Moving on

**A/N - Thanks you guys..I know this chapter is one of my worse ones but it is just leading up to a better one I promise! well one that I hope is better and that you will enjoy more? Review anyway and tell me if you completely hated it. Heh :-**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star..only my ideas and my songs/poems**

**Chapter 11 - Moving on**

For the rest of the day and part of the night jude spent her time to herself, after everything that went on that day including georgia finding out about lex, she wasn't in the mood to talk. She locked herself in tommy's room.

- Living room -

Georgia closed her phone.

"Tom, I have to leave tomorrow morning," She sighed. "Can I trust you to be alone with jude?" She asked tommy who was still sitting on the couch lazily. Could she? He wasn't sure. After what happened last time she stayed there with him he didn't know exactly what would happen..

"Georgia, I don't need a chaperone." He protested, she raised her eyebrow.

"We'll be fine." He tryed to convince georgia along with himself. She shook her head, smiling.

"So, I trust you will look into getting a lawyer for her?" She asked, walking towards the guest room.

"The best." He assured. She smiled, knowing she could trust him with that atleast and turned the corner to head to the guest room.

Tommy got up and grabbed a box off of the kitchen counter, it was red velvet and rectangle shaped. He sighed nervously and walked to his room. Ater tapping on the door lightly he opened it to find jude fast asleep on his bed with a notebook at her side and a pen in her hand. He smiled and stuffed the box in his back pocket, walking up to her. He sat down next to her and picked the notebook up carefully, without her waking.

He flipped it open and read what she had written so far.

"_I feel so trapped_

_i'm alone in my exsistance_

_let me out, dont hold me in_

_i cant take it anymore_

_i'm a "child" so they say_

_one who posses so much pain.._

_look at me would you call this a child?_

_look at me would you call me a child?_

_Left in the dark_

_my only fear is you_

_I am imprisoned_

_I live my life as you want me to_

_release me from the chains_

_spare me the pain_

_just let me live my life_

_you cant do this forever_

_keepin' me locked up.."_

It stopped there. Had she been writing all day? He looked at her and watched her angelic form. God she was so beautiful..

He groaned to himself a little too loudly. Jude started to switch positions and her hand hit his knee.

"Hmm." She opened one eye and after seeing tommy smiling back at her she opened the other.

"Hey.." She said tiredly, trying to smooth her hair down.

"How ya feelin'?" He asked, pushing the remaining hair from her eyes.

"Why did you tell her tommy?"

"She would have found out anyway." He said, closing her notebook and laying it beside her again. She watched him and nodded her head.

"Yeah, well, what are we going to do about it? I say we leave it alone..he tryed again and this time he got caught-"

"Leave it alone? you can't be serious!"

"I don't want to go against him in court, my word against his?"

"You have to jude, we can't let that guy go free! he could be doing that to other girls too! do you want that?"

"You know I don't"

He sighed and calmed himself before he started yelling.

"Don't worry, I'll be beside you the whole way." She looked up at him and bit her lip, nodding.

An awkward silence consumed the room.

"Well anyway, here..I never got the chance to give you this." He got up and revealed the red box. She smiled widely and held out her hand.

"Aww, tommy. You didn't have to!" She took the box and opened it excitedly. There was a few things in this box, one being a guitar pick. At first she was confused about it, picking it up. When she turned it there was a picture on the back of the pick, it wasn't any ordinary pick-design but it was an almost transparent picture of her and tommy together.

"Oh my god tommy!" She reached out and pulled him towards her. Hugging him tightly, she forgot about the rest of the items in the box. He pulled himself from her and pointed towards the box.

"Oh yeah." She blushed.

She looked in the box once more to find two slips of paper.

"Uh?" She looked up at him and he just smilled.

"Just read."

She lipped an 'o-k' and started reading, it was a coupon for a sweet at an inn by the beach, good for all weekend and luckily today was friday. She gasped.

"Oh my god!"

"You said that already." He mocked.

She squealed and threw her arms around tommy once more.

"Thankyou tommy" She let go of him and continued smiling.

"Now, there are two coupons in there so you can take whoever you want with you." She smiled wider.

"Oh, jude..not a good idea."

"Please tommy? I can't be around my family right now." She informed.

He considered this. He did want to go but..oh what the heck.

"Well, Georgia is leaving tomorrow morning so, I guess we could leave then? sorry, was going to give it to you yesterday so you would be there today but.."

"Yeah, don't worry about it it's fine." She pushed herself up from the bed and tommy immediately grabbed her waist, helping her.

"You got it?" He asked before taking his hand off of her.

"Yeah. It doesn't hurt as much." He let go of her and she put her pick and coupons back in the box and then stuffed them into one of her bags.

"Have a nice sleep?" He smirked at her messy hair, she noticed and put her hair back quickly into a halfpony tail.

"Stop it," She laughed.

"Where is georgia?" She continued, walking out of the room. Tommy followed.

"Asleep." He watched jude head towards his fridge. She poked her head in and then pulled out a water bottle and then made her way back to his couch, this was becoming a routine.

"I have to call my dad." She stated as she twisted the top off the water bottle off.

"Yeah." He took the seat next to her.

"You know hes not going to let me stay."

"Yeah.."

"I'm not going back to my mom and sadie, I won't."

"Well you could always move in with your dad."

"And live with yvette?"

"Well, sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do."

"No kidding, ugh dad doesn't even know what all has happened lately..hes going to kill lex."

"I'm not complaining."

Jude sat uncomfortably focusing her thoughts on how all of this was going to play out.

"Look, everything will work out okay. It always does."

"Right."

"You are always welcome here. Never forget that." He wanted to make that clear.

"Thanks." She smiled at him. Tommy felt a moment coming on and quickly pulled himself out of it.

"So, when are you going to call him?" Her eyes drifted away from his and settled on the floor.

"Sunday. I want to enjoy the rest of my weekend." Her eyes didn't leave the floor.

"Well, I guess i'm going to go to bed..tomorrow should be fun." She smiled and got up on her own and started walking towards his room. She turned around and said thanks once again and then went to sleep. Tommy did the same, with thoughts of jude invading his mind.

**A/N - Please don't hate the story? The next chapter will be better I promise! or else I will have to give up completely:( alrighty well keep reviewing, k? **


	12. Chapter 12 When the sun comes out

**A/N - Ok first and foremost, thankyou you guys! I'm glad you didn't dislike or hate the last chapter..which surprised me a bit but hey i'm happy,I aint complaining! lol but anyway okay I like this chapter better..1) The Inn's name came from a friend of mine..yall might know her as Stargirl8480 but yeah she came up with it, it's made up so I wouldn't have to go into correct detail about a real inn, yanno? and 2) I was told that sweet is spelled "suit" So yeah..my mistake, sorry! please continue to read and review.**

**Disclaimer -I do not own Instant star or any of the characters (cept jessica) and my own Ideas including my songs/poems**

**Chapter 12 - When the sun comes out**

Jude opened her eyes once again to find tommy running around the room frantically gathering stuff and putting it in bags. She groaned, it couldn't have been any later than 8 in the morning and the windows were open, revealing the sunlight.

"Tommmmmy it's too early." She pulled the covers over her head and snuggled into her pillow.

"We have to go, this place isn't exactly right around the corner." She didn't budge.

"Jude! come on!" He tugged the blanket off of her from the end of the bed. She jumped up and sent him a death glare.

"Glad to see you're feeling better." She glared at him once again and then stormed into his bathroom. He sighed and put the blanket back on the bed before he finished gathering the rest of his things. Jude applied her make up carefully and then ran the brush through her hair a few times. She settled with a simple blue top and some ripped blue jeans. Tommy had a white tank top on and a dark blue over shirt that he left unbuttoned **(A/N - Talk about hot..WOOHOO!)** and some plain blue jeans.

"Are you ready?" He asked impatiently, standing outside the bathroom door and staring at his watch.

The bathroom door opened. She walked out smiling this time.

"Why you in such a hurry, quincy?" She slipped on her converse.

"I want to beat traffic."

"Well, are you ready?"

"I've been ready for the past half hour." Jude smiles and unzips her bag, grabbing the two coupons and shoving them into her pocket. After this the two walk out of his room.

"Georgia leave already?" She asked, walking towards the fridge.

"Yeah, she was going to say bye but you are the hardest person to wake up." She handed him a water.

"I am not." She said in her deffense. Tommy ignored her, not wanting to get into an hour discussion on how hard she is to wake up. He grabbed her bags.

"Alright, you all set?" She nodded, drinking her water.

They walked out of the apartment and to the car.

"You're not bringing anything?" She asked. He put her stuff in the backseat and she seen his stuff back there as well. Before she could say anything he answered her question.

"While you were in the bathroom." He shut the door and then got into the car.

"Oh." She did the same. He put the key in the ignition and they were on their way..

"So, where is this place? I've never heard of 'Pierce inn."

"It's on the edge of town..really nice place." He looked over at her and could feel her anxiousness. His own was driving him crazy.

"So, we are going to the beach.." Her cheeks turned a little pink.

"Yeah, have something against the beach?" He asked with a smirk.

She gave him a look.

"No..it's just..i'm kind of really white if you haven't noticed." He laughed.

"Nope haven't noticed."

"But seriously, we don't have to go swimming do we?" She asked, hope in her voice. Tommy took a mental note that she didn't want to swim.

"Nope, it's your weekend we can do whatever you want." She liked hearing that.

They stopped at a stop light and there were a bunch of cars in front of them, close to a traffic jam but not quite.

"Now you see, this is what I wanted to avoid."

"Sorry." She smiled innocently.

After driving for a while jude got sick of the silence so she started to fiddle with his radio.

"Hey hey hey! don't touch the radio!" As soon as she settled on a station he turned it off.

"Aw come on tommy I can't take any more of this silence."

"You won't have to."

"...what are you talking about?" Tommy turned the corner.

"We're here." Judes eyes lit up, the place was absolutely georgous.

"Wow." The place was a pleasant tan color, and the trim was brown. She looked over towards the beach and there were just a few people out there but the view was amazing. Tommy parked and jude jumped out quickly, still checking the place out. Tommy got out a few seconds later and smiled at jude's excited expressions. He got the bags out and they started up the path. They walked in and the door made a 'ding' sound as people looked over, no one seemed to notice who tommy or jude was, thankfully.

They walked up to the lady at the front desk who looked like she was in her mid 20's and she seemed cheerful.

"Hi, um..I have these coupons." Jude handed the coupons to the older girl.

"Oh yes, the suit, these had to have been hard to get." The lady said, clicking the mouse to her lap top.

Jude looked over at tommy and he shrugged, she smiled.

"Name?"

"Um?" Jude looked at tommy for guidance.

"Quincy." He said, stepping up next to jude. The girl's jaw dropped.

"Tom quincy? The tom quincy? I knew you looked familiar!" Tommy shh'd her.

"Can you keep it down?" He asked as nice as possible.

"Oh, right sorry. Hehe" She smiled sweetly at him, jude started getting jealous.

"So as you were saying.." Jude said a little rude, tommy smirked and the girl giggled again.

"Okay well, you two have the best suit in the place! very romantic..couple I'm assuming?" She eyed tommy and he looked at jude quickly before looking back at the girl and smiling flirtish-like.

"No. Just friends." The girl looked as if she were about to have a heart attack.

"Oh. Well my name is jessica but you can call me jess..if you need anything at all, anything, come see me, ok?" Jude had just about enough of this.

"So jessica, where is our room?" She asked, pulling tommy from the desk.

"Oh, right. It is right through there, the last door on the right." She handed them a key and then pointed to the hallway. Jude faked a smile and said thanks. She started walking and tommy followed trying his hardest not to laugh. They made it to the hall and tommy was still trying to calm down.

"What is so funny?" She asked, irritated.

"Nothing." He didn't want to fight, but she was just so cute when she was jealous.

"Whatever quincy." They stopped in front of the last door on the right. It read 'Room 12' Jude took the key and unlocked it and then opened the door.

They walked in quickly, tommy smiling and jude's mouth agape.

"It's so nice!" She took her bags from tommy and put them next to the bed.

"Tommy." He was on the other side of the room looking for a place to put his bags.

"Yeah?" He looked back over his shoulder.

"There is only one bed.." A million different things went through his head but he almost immediately shook them away.

"Oh.." He dropped his bags and turned to her, half smiling. She sighed.

"It's fine..I call the side by the window though!" He breathed out slowly in relief, thanking god she took it so well.

"Fine, but you better not kick me." She smirked.

"So, are you hungry?" He asked, walking towards her.

"I don't know, it's early. This bed is really comfortable. My ribs are hurting again. Oh yeah, and did I meantion it's early?"

Tommy smirked.

"You are not going back to sleep, besides you need to move around, laying around isn't going to help you heal any."

She puckered her bottom lip out. It killed him but he refused to let her sleep through her mini vacation.

"Nope." She sighed.

"Well what do you want to do then?" He smiled and looked out the window at the beach.

"Seen that coming." She got up from the bed. Looking down at her clothes, she wasn't sure she was wearing the appropriate clothing for the beach. He seen her doing this and put his hand on her back, bringing her towards the door.

"It's fine." He pushed her in front of him and they walked out to the beach, on the way they seen jessica and jude couldn't help but wear a scowl on her face. Tommy politely waved at her and then they walked out. He laughed once again.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Once on the actual sand jude warmed up. It was so pretty and she wasn't exactly a beach bum so it was very rare she ever got to see the water, the waves, the beauty.

They walked for a while just listening to the waves crash onto the sand, and some rocks that had piled up in certain places.

"I use to love coming here." Tommy spoke, bringing jude out of her trance.

"Really?" She looked up at him, sheilding her eyes from the sun with her hand.

"Yeah. Before boyz attack got big..and even after whenever I needed to think." He looked down at her with seriousness in his eyes.

"What did you think about?" She asked, not trying to trigger anything that would be painful for him to talk about.

"My life mostly, my family..friends..career, it depended on what was going on at the time." His eyes met the ocean.

They stopped at an area that looked pretty private, there was no one around and they had been walking a while so there shouldn't be anyone to come up.

Tommy turned and walked a little farther from the water and then sat in the sand, jude sat next to him. She sighed.

"Well I don't blame you. It's pretty here." She looked out at the ocean. He watched jude, her hair was swaying in the nice breeze and she then closed her eyes as it touched her softly.

Tommy had to stop this before it began. He smirked to himself and took a hand full of sand and threw it on her.

"Hey!" He laughed at her reaction and then seen her struggling to get up. He quickly got up and backed a few feet away from her. When she finally got up and brushed the remains of sand off of her she looked at him and smirked.

"Jude, don't." She came towards him slowly. He jogged towards the water, she followed.

"Aw, come on tommy it's just fun!" She started to throw the sand but he came up to her, pushing her hand to her side and they both fell to the ground from the sand sinking under their feet a bit. He fell on top of her but caught himself before his weight hit her. He wouldn't let himself make her ribs any worse. She giggled underneath him and he smiled. He didn't attempt to move and she didn't want him to move.

"Tommy.." He pulled one hand towards her face and let his fingers brush her cheek softly. And out of nowhere there was a strong gust of wind and thunder was heard. The clouds had been a little dark earlier but it didn't look like there was going to be a storm, but they must have been wrong. The sky turned dark rather quickly but neither of the two noticed, they stayed laying there in each others arms and gazing into eachother's eyes.

**A/N - Ok so like I said, I liked this chapter better but hey i'm just a jommy mushy fan lol. Please review and tell me if you liked it or not and once again thankyouuuu everyone who did review:) **


	13. Chapter 13 Finally

**A/N - Woohoo! finally! I was going crazy! hehe..anywho, thankyou for the reviews ya'll :) Ok I don't know where this story is going from here..I know where I could end this and maybe write a sequel? or I could just write maybe a few more chapters and leave it with something that just falls into peice, heh. It is totally up to you guys so..please review and tell me what you think I should do? Thanks again!**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Instant star or any other the characters, just jessica and my songs/poems..oh and the inn!**

**Chapter 13 - Finally**

Lightning flashed through the sky and rain started to fall. Tommy felt the wetness against his back and he fluttered his eyes as if he were coming out of a dream. Jude knew what was going on all along, she seen him doing this and realized that this is the part where he wakes up. This is the part where he denys it all and this is the part where she gets hurt again.

He pushed himself off of her and then held out his hand, offering help to her. She took it and pulled herself up to him. His arms fell to her sides and his hands held her waist securely. It was raining now, the cool wind blowing against the two was enough to keep them shivering, but thats not the only reason they were shaking. Tommy didn't know what he was doing but he knew that there was nothing that could stop him this time. Jude stared into his cloudy blue eyes and she was getting lost in them. All at once tommy pulled her even tighter against him and he felt every part of her body tense, as did she, his.

They were both soaked to the bone and the rain was pouring down harder by the second, neither of them focused on anything but each others eye's. They were face to face and tommy felt judes breath against his lips, it was the only warmth he had. The lightning was getting worse and it brought tommy back from his gaze. His eyes finally left jude's and fell to the ground. _'Here it comes..'_ Jude thought.

"Tommy?" Her voice was weak but none the less it got through to him.

"We need to um, get you inside." He dropped one of his hands and slid the other all the way around her waist and then guided her towards the inn. It was a long walk but the two needed time to think anyway and they weren't exactly walking, it was more of a jog to the inn, considering it was cold and raining.

They finally reached the inn and the air was even colder in the building. People gave the two weird glances and jessica looked a little dissapointed from the desk when she seen how snug the two looked together. This time tommy ignored jessica and jude was slightly happy to see that. They made it to the room and quickly walked in. Neither of them said anything to each other but tommy sat in a chair in the far corner of the room, once again trying to process his thoughts. It always ended up this way. He didn't even bother drying off. Jude on the other hand, went into the bathroom and cried to herself silently, she didn't want tommy to hear her. She took a nice warm bath, the running water drowned out her sobs. Tommy was thinking about everything that had happened to him since he met jude. His world deffinitely changed..for him he'd say it was for the better but then again the way others would see it, they would disagree. He was too old for her, it would ruin their music, all the other reasons people could think of to keep them apart but things were getting too tense, too tight, too personal. The bathroom door opened and jude stood in the door way, her hair hanging in her eyes and dripping with water. He watched her small form walk towards the bed. Once she got there she sat and stared down at her hands. He slipped off his overshirt and left on the tanktop was skin tight and also soaked. After doing so he walked over to her and put his hand under her chin, bringing her face up to face him. Her eyes were red and poofy where she had been crying. He then grabbed her arms and pulled her up, carefully.

"Tommy.." She started, looking back down. She sniffed to herself.

"Don't. Just don't." She continued, trying to pull herself from his grip to hide her face but he wouldn't let her.

"Jude."

"Tommy please, don't you get it? I can't do this anymore." She broke free finally and ran out the door. Tommy was taken aback. He couldn't move, his heart had been torn into peices by the one and only and she didn't even know it.

Jude ran down the hallway, people watched her and seen she was crying so they shot sympathetic looks. Once she reached the door to the inn she easily pushed it open and collapsed on the porch. The door automatically closed behind her. Jude managed to push herself up against the wall and cry into her hands. She was now wearing a long T-shirt and some black pajama pants, that might have been another reason why people were looking at her weirdly but she didn't care. Tommy had to screw everything up again, she didn't want to hear any more reasons why they couldn't be together so she didn't stick around to let anything else happen. But, he did have a different look in his eyes, not anger but something. She couldn't quite put her finger on it. She tried to wipe the tears away but they just kept coming back, she couldn't help it.

"Jude?..thats your name right?" Jude didn't hear the door open but she did hear the faint voice so she turned to face the second to last person she wanted to talk to right now. Jessica.

"Look, tommy isn't here okay? if you want to see him hes in the room." She sobbed, her words were harsh but the girl came out anyway, ignoring her statement.

"Look, I just thought maybe you needed to talk? you don't look so good." Jessica sat next to jude and ignored jude's attitude towards her. Jude didn't say anything. She wasn't about to spill her guts to this girl, why should she? So she could feel sorry for her? No way.

"I'm fine, okay?" Jude looked at jessica and jessica smiled back knowingly.

"Trouble in paradise?" Jude looked down at her hands and sniffed the air again.

"What paradise?" She asked herself lightly.

"You know, you and tommy." The girl said, still smiling. Jude looked up with a confused look on her face.

"What?"

"You know..I see the way you guys look at eachother. Everyone seen that little show you gave on the beach." Jude blushed.

"If you don't mind me asking, whats wrong?" Jude debated whether she should tell her or not and finally settled with a yeah, if she didn't tell someone she was going to explode and jessica didn't seem as bad as she had thought.

Jude explained everything that had happened since she won the Instant star contest. How her life changed, how tommy changed it. How many mistakes she made, how tommy was there to pick her up when she fell. Lastly, how stupid she was for loving him, how hard the fact hit her that he couldn't love her back. Jessica listened and occasionally rubbed judes back, trying to comfort her. When jude stoped talking for a few minutes and jessica realized how much she felt for this guy she had a few things to say herself.

"When I was 16, my boyfriend was 20," She started, jude nodded.

"No one wanted to accept the fact that I loved him and he loved me..things were hard." Jude sighed.

"Yeah..." She said.

"But you know what?"

Jude said nothing, only waited for her to continue.

"We are now happily married, have been for 2 years. Was engaged for two before that." Jessica showed jude her wedding band.

"Oh..congratulations." She felt kind of stupid now about earlier, she thought she was hitting on tommy.

"Thank you, but anyway the point i'm trying to make is even though others don't like you two being together doesn't mean you just give up on it. You and only you can make it work." Jude smiled slightly.

"Yeah, tell tommy that." Jessica smiled.

"He doesn't need to be told, he is crazy about you and the fact that he can't have you, well, that he thinks he can't have you is killing him." Jude giggled a bit and wiped her face. Her eyes were red once again and they stayed puffy.

"Now, get your ass in there and talk some sense into that boy, don't let him give up this easily!" Jude smiled at jessica and said thankyou with sincerity this time. Jessica smiled back and said no problem. The two got up and jude took a deep breath before walking in, jessica following. The two parted at the hallway and jessica whispered goodluck. Jude walked as slow as possible towards the bedroom trying to gather her thoughts. She had no idea what she was going to say.

She stopped in front of the door and listened, nothing. It was silent. She opened the door to find tommy sitting on the bed in the same position she was in earlier.

"Tommy?" Her voice cracked. He looked up at her and his expression didn't change, his eyes were fixed on hers. He got up without hesitating and pulled her close to him. This time she did nothing to stop him and he took this to his advantage. He closed the gap between the two of them by kissing her softly but the kiss intensified almost immediately. Neither of them were feeling regret. Tommy pulled away slowly noting that things were getting a little too intense. She opened her eyes as did he and they smiled at each other.

"Tommy?"

"Yeah?" His voice was so faint that it sent shivers down her spine.

"Remember what I said at your apartment?" He nodded slowly.

"I meant it." She was determined to make him believe that.

"I love you too, girl." And with that he kissed her again with more passion than the first three times.

Jude forgot about everything bad in her life, lex, her mom, her sister..everything. Tommy finally told her the words she had longed to hear and she wasn't about to let him go. Jude pulled tommy towards the bed. At first he followed but just as he was about to stop her and himself from going a little too far her cell phone rang, causing them to break away slowly. Tommy smiled at her in reassurance that we wasn't regretting anything and she did the same.

"You might want to get that." He said, pulling the bag that was ringing off the floor and handing it to her.

She took it and pulled out her phone quickly and looked at the caller Id.

"Oh my god..."

**A/N - Ya'll like it? Please review and tell! oh and I want your ideas about the sequel thing!**


	14. Chapter 14 A problem

**A/N - :) Thanks for the reviews ya'll! I know that most of you want a sequel..but i'm not sure i'm up to writing one..heh, it was hard enough keeping this one interesting. Since this is my first fic and all I think i'm just going to end it in a few chapters..maybe start a new story? hope ya'll will considering reading if i do. Ok so anyway thankyou again, ya'll are the greatest! **

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star or any characters (cept jessica) and my own ideas/songs/poems**

**Chapter 14 - A problem..**

Jude flipped the phone open quickly.

"Dad."

"Jude where the hell are you? and what's this about you moving in with tom?"

"Dad.."

"You are 17 years old! who do you think you are walking out on your mother!"

"Who is she to walk out on me?" Jude squeaked.

"What? what are you talking about?" Jude calmed herself a bit.

"There are a lot of things I need to tell you, but dad I'm not going home."

"Where are you now?" Jude glanced at tommy who had been watching her all along with concern.

"I'm with tommy.." She said quietly.

"Jude, he is 23 years old! you are not staying alone with him!" He screamed.

"He is the only one who cares about me and I care about him. I'm not a kid anymore. Love you dad..i'll call you tomorrow." Stuart was heard protesting on the other line but jude ignored him and hung up.

Tommy looked out the window at the storm that was occuring outside.

"Now you see..this is what we would go through everyday." Tommy said flatly.

Jude sat next to him.

"What are you talking about?" She asked.

"Us jude. No one is going to accept this." He looked at her and met her eyes.

"Tommy, don't do this. We will make it work." She grabbed his hand, hers were shaking.

"I don't know jude." He looked down at her pale hand. Jude laughed to herself which brought his eyes back up to hers.

"I can't believe it.." She started, pulling her hand from his grasp.

"Believe what?" Frustration echoed his words.

"That I actually thought you changed tommy." For once she didn't feel as though she wanted to cry. She was too mad.

"What?" He was in shock.

"You'll never change." She got up from the bed but before she could walk away he grabbed her wrist and brought her back to him.

"You know if there was any way possible..." He stated, angrily.

"Tommy I just basically told my dad about us and NOW you want to give up?" Her words were sharp.

"You think I want to give this up? YOU up?" Tommy's words grew more tender and they tore at her heart.

"I don't know what you want tommy, I don't think you even know what you want." She spoke just a bit louder than a whisper. He lowered his head and took her words into consideration, not letting go of her wrist.

"Jude, you know I want to be with you.."

"So he does know what he wants." She sarcastically stated.

Tommy dropped her wrist and stood up to her. She didn't want to look up but it was like he was magnetic, her face lifted slowly and she met his ocean blue eyes.

"I'm not giving up." He whispered and pulled her into an embrace, she hesitantly wrapped her arms around him as well. After a few minutes he pulled away again and smiled at her before kissing her forehead.

"You hungry?" He asked. Neither of the two had eaten anything all day and it was already 6 in the evening.

"Starving." He smiled and put his arm around her shoulders and led her out the door. They made it to the lobby and she seen jessica smiling at her. She smiled back and jessica winked. They made it to a near by table and sat down. Tommy grabbed her hand and held it over the table.

"Tommy..people are watching." She couldn't help but smile.

"So? you embarrassed?" He smiled back.

"Yeah, in case you havent remembered I do have a rep. and you are an ex-boybander." She laughed to herself, tommy didn't find it too funny but still shook his head in amusement.

"Right." He dropped her hand. Jessica made her way over, smiling from ear to ear.

"Hey tommy, jude, can I get you something to drink?" Tommy waited for jude to blow up on jessica but when she didn't tommy decided to order.

"Um, yeah iced tea please." He smiled at jessica and jude replied with a 'same'.

Jessica nodded and clicked her pen, walking away.

Tommy and jude sat in awkward silence for a few minutes before he decided to bring up the one thing they needed to get settled.

"So jude, about lex.." He seen her switch postitions in her chair.

"We need to figure out what we are going to do about this." She shook her head.

"I told you tommy..lets just leave it, okay?"

"You know we can't just leave it." Tommy tried to be sympathetic, he really did. But, he loved jude too much to let this guy go without punishment, or atleast a restraining order against her and her family. He wanted the best for her, he wanted her to be safe. Personally he wouldn't mind showing that guy what he deserves but that would involve tommy going to jail and he promised he wouldn't leave jude.

Jude sighed and wiped her bangs from her face.

"Can we wait til' we get home to talk about it?..we're together now..I want to be happy." Tommy forced a smile and nodded. Jessica walked over with the iced teas and then took their order. Tommy and jude spent the rest of the time talking about how darius was going to handle the fact that they were together and if they should even tell him at all. They finally came to the conclusion that it would be the best to tell him..whatever happens happens.

After eating they went back to the room and tommy took a shower while jude layed on the bed thinking about how good things were going. Most of the time things were good when she was with tommy, that is, when he wasn't breaking her heart. She closed her eyes and let the cool air sweep her into a light sleep. After a few minutes tommy came out of the bathroom. He watched her sleep peacefully and loved the thought of sleeping next to her. He tiptoed to the bed and got in as easily as he could. He managed to get in without her waking but when he went to pull the covers over himself her eye popped open.

"Tommy?" She said sleepily. He smiled and put his arm around her waist.

"Shh, go back to sleep." She did as she was told and fell asleep close to his warm figure. That night was the best night sleep she had ever got.

When jude awoke she was expecting tommy to be next to her but when she felt the emptiness next to her she furrowed her brow and looked up to find tommy pacing up and down the room, moving one of his hands in frustration and using the other to hold the phone. His voice was low, he thought jude was still asleep and he didn't want to wake her. Finally tommy flipped the phone shut and looked towards jude who was now sitting up in the bed, confused.

"We have a problem jude..."

**A/N - Once again, I just can't thank you guys enough! keep reviewing it makes me so happy and fuzzy inside hehe lol ok i'm done..:)**


	15. Chapter 15 The truth comes out

**A/N - Hey you guys, thanks so much! sorry the chapters are getting really short..I've been busy lately and when I do write the chapters I just try to get them out asap. I'm not sure how realistic this chapter is but I tried to make it as real as possible considering I know nothing about the subject..even though I should. Okay thanks for reviewing, ya'll are the best:)**

**Chapter 15 - The truth comes out**

"What do you mean a problem?" She wiped the sleep from her eyes and waited for him to explain.

"That was Georgia, we are all over the tabloids." Her eyes widened and she pushed her hair behind her ears slowly.

"Who.."

"I don't know, tha paparazzi must have spotted us and..she wanted to warn us before we got to G-major. We have to go." He stuffed the phone in his pocket and started grabbing his bags. Jude didn't want to argue so she hopped off the bed and ran in the bathroom, getting dressed quickly. When she came out her stuff was all ready and tommy had a distant expression on his face. Without saying anything jude followed tommy out the door and to the main lobby where surprisingly, jessica wasn't behind the front desk. Tommy checked them out and then they walked to the car. After everything was in there and they took a minute to look out at the beach, they left. Jude watched her paradise dissapear behind her.

She took a few minutes to gather some courage to speak to him. Finally clearing her throat, she started.

"Maybe this is a good thing." He flashed her a look that said 'yeah right'.

"Seriously, tommy, I'm not a kid anymore and people are just gonna have to accept that."

She wasn't a kid anymore, and he seen that. But, the way others seen it would be he is a pervert..yada yada yada.

"Yep, well, D is going to be a whole nother ball park." He grabbed her hand and squeezed it assuringly.

She frowned knowingly. The rest of the ride to G-major was kept in a comforting silence, that is, until they pulled into the parking lot.

"Oh my god." Judes jaw dropped and tommy tensed at the sight of two police cars parked in front of the studio.

"Maybe we shouldn't go in." Jude said, worriedly.

"We have to get this over with." He parked the car and kissed her hand lightly before letting go of it.

They both got out of the car nervously and walked in as if it were an ordinary day and there was nothing to worry about. Darius spotted the two and walked quickly over to them.  
"Tom, what were you thinking?" He glanced over at jude who was looking at the two policemen that were talking to kwest and liam.

"Look, D I already got this from Georgia."

"First the tabloids, then I have two cops come up here looking for you? I don't need this here, not at my studio!" The two men in uniform heard darius' voice raise and walked over.

"Excuse me, are you.." He looked down at a notepad which had a name written on it, "Thomas Quincy?" Judes heart dropped. Tommy looked from darius to the new man.

"Yeah, thats me." Tommy watched the man pull out handcuffs.

"Mr. Quincy you are under arrest for statutory rape." He continued to read tommy his rights and fasten the handcuffs on his wrists.

"What? we never did anything!" Jude attempted to fight with the policeman.

"I'm only doing my job, we need the both of you at the office, your father is there waiting." Tommy said nothing as the two men led him outside.

"Darius! you're just going to stand there?" She was outraged and the only thing that was going through her mind was how she was going to deal with her dad.

"He brought this upon himself." And with that darius walked away, kwest and liam stood watching the incident and for once liam was silent.

Jude followed one of the men to his car and she got in, the other one had tommy in the backseat.

Once at the police station jude watched tommy being jerked into the station sadly, he didn't deserve this. She ran inside against the police' orders and immediately spotted her dad.

"Why dad?" Anger clearly shown through her voice.

"I told you he is too old for you." He was calm and it was getting to her.

"Rape, dad? are you serious? we never did anything!"

"Don't give me that jude. You can't tell me you two have never done anything." Jude gasped.

"We didn't! give me a lie detector test, give tommy one! I swear we never did anything."

"I talked to your mom." His eyes fell to the floor. Jude was waiting for him to continue with his crazy accusations as she watched the police pull tommy in one of the back rooms. The door closed and her heart was broken at this point. Tears started to dwell in her eyes and stuart realized his daughters hands starting to shake.

"Tommy shouldn't be here." She sobbed, bringing her hands to her face.

"Lex should be here, did mom tell you that? huh? bet she didn't.." She wiped the few tears away and sniffed, trying to pull herself together.

"What are you talking about?" Stuart was suddenly interested.

"Lex raped me dad! Tommy would never hurt me and he would never force me to do anything, we never did anything together anyway and-" Stuarts eyes grew wide and his mind grew blank after hearing her first few words.

"Lex what?" Jude looked around at the faces staring at her and when she noticed this she pulled her dad to the side, away from everyone.

"Please dad just fix this, get tommy out of here." Stuarts expression didn't change.

"He raped you?" His voice softened but he was just as angry as he was before. Jude took a minute before answering.

"Yeah.." Stuart brought his daughter close to him and hugged her tightly. She wasn't crying but her arms were wrapped around his back and he felt her shaking. After a few uncomfortable moments she pulled away.

"Dad, please?"

"Shh hun, I'll get him out of this..i'm sorry I ever doubted you." Jude nodded and stuart pulled jude back close to the room tommy was taken into.

"Excuse me, what are they doing in there?" Jude finally asked one of the other cops standing around the office.

"Questioning, L.D test..the usual." He said it as if it was nothing and then walked away. Jude eyed the door while stuart argued with the man at the front desk. After what seemed life forever the door opened and a man walked out.

"Whats going on?" She asked, her voice timid.

The man looked very aggravated and confused, he shook his head and threw his hands in the air.

"He passed the L.D test with flying colors." Jude smiled.

"So does that mean he can leave?" Stuart came up behind jude and rested his hands on her shoulders.

"Actually, we would like to have you take the test as well." The man said, judes eyes narrowed and she was confused.

"Me?"

"No. She is not taking any-" Jude hushed her father.

"It's okay dad..i'll take it."

"Good. Come with me." Stuart started to follow jude but once they reached the door and jude walked in the room the man held out his arm, stopping stuart.

"She needs to be alone."

"But I'm her father!"  
"I'll be fine." Jude assured, smiling at her dad from inside of the room. Stuart stared for a minute and then nodded before walking away. The man closed the door.

**A/N - Once again thanks for the reviews and tell me, realistic enough? I'm not sure if this is exactly how everything would go but hey..I don't live in canada and i'm nota police officer so..my story my rules! lol j/p, hope you liked:)**


	16. Chapter 16 I'm ready

**A/N - Hey ya'll thanks for your reviews:) Ok, L.D test Lie Dector test..sorry for the confusion. Well..not much to say except to thank yall for being wonderful reviewers :) hehe okay well keep reviewing!**

**Disclaimer - I do not own instant star or any of the characters..cept the officers and lex.**

**Chapter 16 - I'm ready**

This room wasn't the same one tommy was in, yeah right..they wouldn't give her the satisfaction. No, instead this was a cold room with white walls and a small window revealing the only light. Jude's eyes finally adjusted to the weird lighting and the weird feeling she had when she walked in. The guy motioned for her to sit down so she did as instructed.

"Okay, Jude my name is debt. Collins and I don't want you to be nervous, okay? just answer the questions truthfully and you'll have nothing to worry about." Jude smiled and said 'k'.

After the attachments from the machine were hooked to jude and everything was set, the questioning started.

"Simple yes or no answers." Jude nodded in response.

"Ok, Miss harrison have you ever had sexual contact with someone?" Jude bowed her head and clenched her eyes shut.

"Yes." The needle stayed in its usual pattern on the paper, indicating that she was telling the truth. The man kept his eyes on the machine and nodded.

"Have you had sexual contact with Thomas Quincy?"

"No." The needle did the same as before. After the long line of embarrassing questions, the man turned off the machine and unhooked the wires and straps from her.

"Well miss harrison, you passed the test." Jude smiled.

"So can tommy and I go now?" Debt. Collins smiled back.

"Yes, you can go now."

Jude said thank you and then left the room, quickly. Stuart stood as his daughter walked out.

"Where's tommy?" She asked, walking up to her dad.

"He is still in there." He pointed to the room tommy was in earlier. Her eyes narrowed. She was tired of all this nonsense so she burst through the door.

"Tommy, come on we can go now." Tommy was sitting at a table with two men opposite side of him. Tommy looked at one of the men as if for permission. The police officer nodded so tommy got up and followed jude. She closed the door behind them.

"Tommy, I am so sorry." Would he still want to be with her now that he knew the kind of stuff he'd have to face? Tommy smiled down at her.

"Don't be sorry, girl."

"No, that would be my place." Stuart decided it was his time to step into the conversation.

"No, Mr. Harrison. Don't apo-"

"Tom, I am sorry. I never should have doubted jude.." He looked down at his daughter and jude smiled up at him. Tom nodded with a slight smile painted on his face.

"So, you passed the test?" Stuart asked, though he didn't really need to.

"Yeah." Jude started to pull tommy towards the exit but stuart stopped her.

"Honey we need to get this over with." Jude looked away from tommy and her father's concerned faces.

"Dad, there is no evidence. My statement wouldn't hold up in court." Tommy now knew what the conversation was about and decided to keep quiet until he needed to interject.

"It will. It's not uncommon. I will do my best to help you through this." He looked at tommy who had put an arm around judes shoulder.

"And I know Tom will be here for you as well.." Jude looked back at her dad, confusedly.

"He cares for you jude. I'm not getting in the way this time." Jude's eyes widened and tommy's face was blank, he didn't know what to think. Did he have her now? was this really happening?

"You mean.." Jude started, staring at her dad. Stuart nodded.

Jude first hugged her dad almost a split second after he nodded and then she walked calmly over to tommy who pulled her close to him. She kissed him lightly and he held her in his arms for a few minutes, treasuring every second of this. When they finally let go people were staring but she didn't care and neither did he. They were together now, officially. No one was going to ruin this.

"Ok...I'm ready." Stuart nodded and held out his hand. Jude took it and they walked out of the exit. Tommy followed closely behind.

Once in the car stuart and tommy talked about lawyers and who would be best to deffend her. Jude sat in the backseat staring out into space. She knew she should be listening to them and she should be just a little more concerned about the whole situation but, she was just too happy. Tommy was with her now. It was her dream come true..could it possibly be real? It had to be. How was Darius going to take this? he didn't seem too fond of the idea from the tabloids..Oh! the tabloids!

"Tommy, what exactly was in the tabloids?" She interrupted their conversation.

"I don't know." He said, looking back at her.

What if they got a picture of her and him in bed together? There was a really huge window where people could have looked in. Nothing happened but, they would make something out of nothing. People love drama.

"Don't worry about it." He assured, and then stuart and tom went back to their earlier conversation.

She sighed.

-------------------------------------------

A few months passed, tommy and stuart spent most of their time with the lawyer, leaving jude alone. They had actually found certain evidence, seems like outside of her studio there was a security camera. The reason for the security camera was because of the neighborhood. Crime occured all the time and so the security camera was put there a few months before the incident to catch this kind of stuff on tape. The camera caught footage of lex walking towards the building and then around 30minutes later running out with his shirt in hand, which appeared to be bloody. During the first 10 minutes faint screaming was heard.

The first ones to watch the video overlooked it and didn't think much of it. Thank god they saved it.

The first court hearing was over and another one was schedueled. At the next one, lex would be there making his statement. Jude would have to see him again.

Everything at G-major was okay. Tommy talked with darius and they both decided that jude and tommy's relationship wouldn't affect their work at the studio. Darius knew this was going to eventually happen but he was hoping it would be when jude was 18 so they could use it for her image. It would boost her cd sales and everyone would love the fact that tommy and jude were together. Most people knew tommy and jude were together now but, they tried to keep it out of the tabloids as much as possible.

During the last few months sadie and victoria had tried to contact jude but jude still didn't want to speak to neither of them. She was staying with stuart and yvette. Yvette and her had actually gotten pretty close, she never thought that would happen. At first jude's idea was to stay with tommy but even though they were together stuart objected. She was still his daughter and only seventeen.

It was now the day before the trial and jude was spending the day with tommy at his place. Tommy was sitting on the couch and jude was laying on it with her head on his lap, with her eyes closed. He played with her hair because he knew it drove her crazy.

"You nervous about tomorrow?" He finally asked, seeing if she was still awake.

"Mmm.." She replied so tommy stopped messing with her hair.

She groaned and he laughed lightly. She opened her eyes and smiled at him. He was perfect in every way and she loved him more than anything.

"You know..3months next week." Jude continued smiling, he remembered!

"Yeah." She timidly spoke.

"Anything in particular you want to do?" He asked. He already had plans for them but if she wanted to do something special, he would cancel plans for her.

"What? no surprises this year?" She asked, acting pouty. He smiled.

"Jude, come on..you know me." His ego would show sometimes but jude found it cute.

"Yes I do." She leaned up and kissed him and he intensified the kiss. They stayed like this for a while before she broke away. She wasn't ready for anything else. Everytime they kissed it seemed like she had to stop before things went too far..they had gotten pretty close a few times and she didn't want to end up like that again. She opened her eyes and smiled at him. He smiled back and then kissed her quickly.

"I should get you home. Big day tomorrow." She slightly frowned.

"Yeah." They got up slowly and he took her home. That night she debated whether or not she was being fair to tommy. He was 24 years old (Correction) and he deserved someone he could be with mentally and physically.

**A/N - You like? Keep reviewing:)**


	17. Chapter 17 Not fair

**A/N - Thanks again ya'll! I'm not going to put actual court scenes in the story. Why? because I'm not familiar with courtrooms and how the whole thing works..so..i'm guessing and compromising with that I do know so bare with me. Thanks again for the reviews you guys!**

**Disclaimer - Ya'll know what I own and don't own**

**Chapter 17 - Not fair**

The trial went fairly well. The judge seemed to be on her side and her lawyer did a really good job displaying the evidence. Well it looked like she did a good job anyway, jude had never been in a court room before. Stuart must have told her mom about the court date because her and sadie were there. Jude didn't look at them once and afterwards when victoria and sadie came up to her, she grabbed tommy's hand and headed out without looking back. Lex kept looking at victoria for sympathy but he didn't get what he wanted. Jude couldn't look at lex but tommy on the other hand couldn't take his eyes off of him. If looks could kill lex would never have to be worried about again. At the end of the trial, before decisions could be made, lex got out of hand and started yelling a bit. The judge tried to hush him but he wouldn't cooperate, therefore; the judge decided trial would pick back up again tomorrow at noon and sentencing would be made. Court was let out.

-Outside of the courthouse-

"Ugh! why must they do this? can't we just get the sentencing over with? if he even is charged guilty..." Jude had her first outburst since the whole court thing started.

"Jude, it's alright. These things take time." Her lawyer assured her. This person was a woman around the age of 40 and she was really determined and independent, you could tell from her personality.

Jude shook her head.

"Look, we've got this." Her lawyer assured, putting her hands on jude's shoulders. Jude smiled slightly at her and sighed.

Tommy and stuart were discussing..more like yelling about how snug lex looked. His smirk, his eyes, everything about him made them want to kill. Jude walked towards the two after saying goodbye to her lawyer.

"Guys?" They didn't hear her nor notice she walked up to them. They continued their discussion.

"Hello? guys?" She tried again, this time she got her dad's attention.

"Oh, hey, sorry hun." His eyes went from tommy to jude and his voice softened.

"Hey, sorry jude." Tommy put his arm around her shoulder.

"So that went well." Stuart said awkwardly.

"Oh yeah." Jude replied sarcastically.

They stood there for a few minutes before the door to the courthouse opened and lex stepped out with his lawyer. He walked down the steps and spotted jude almost immediately. Jude also layed eyes on him, accidently. As much as she wanted to look away, she couldn't. He smirked at her and then winked before stepping into a car. Tommy clenched his fist and stuart was unaware of the whole incident until the car door was shut.

"Lets go." Tommy said flatly.

"Yeah." Jude agreed. The trio got into stuart's car and drove off. Once back at stuart's, where tommy left his car earlier that day, tommy asked jude if she wanted to come back to his place with him but she declined, she had plans with kat. Tommy kissed jude quickly but fully and then walked towards his car.

"Call me later." He said before stepping inside. She nodded and waved. After he drove out of the driveway and started down the road, jude got out her cell phone and dialed kat's number.

"Hello?"

"Hey, kat?"

"Hey, how'd things go?"

"Tomorrow at noon they do sentencing, that is if they say hes guilty."

"Oh, why tomorrow?"

"He made a scene before decisions were made."

"Jerk.."

"Yeah, so..where do you want to meet? I need to talk to you."

"My house?"

"Alright, I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Cya."

Jude hung up the phone and walked inside quickly. She was going to freshen up before she went to kat's, her face was stained from tears shed earlier that day. She looked in the mirror and seen her eyeliner was smudged and her eyeshadow was almost all the way off. She looked like a clown. She smiled at the thought.

"How does tommy put up with this?" She wiped the eyeliner off and applied new eyeshadow and then redid the eyeliner.

"Ah whatever." She jerked her bag off the floor and yelled to her dad that she was going to kat's.

-Once at kat's-

"Hey girl!" Kat hugged her best friend.

"Hey."

"Okay, so, you needed to talk to me about something?" Kat motioned for jude to sit down on the bed.

"Yeah.." Jude sat next to her friend.

"Ok, so spill!" Kat squeaked, she thought it was something else mushy that tommy had done for her, she liked hearing this from jude because jude was happy with tommy and that was different from her other relationships.

"Well..you know how tommy and I are together.." Kat nodded so jude continued.

"I don't think i'm being fair to him." Kat looked at her strangely.

"He is 24 kat! i'm 17..he deserves someone who he can be with.."

"You are with him jude." Kat was confused.

"No kat, _be_ with." Kat widened her eyes.

"Ohh.. jude don't be silly, tommy loves you." Kat assured.

"I know but still..its not fair to him."

"Look, he knows how old you are. Hes known you since you were 15, thats 2years-"  
"Almost 3." Jude corrected.

"Whatever, the point is hes waited this long for you and now he has you. He will wait until your ready." Jude considered her words.

"Kat?" Jude spoke timidly.

"Yeah?"

"I think i'm ready.."

**A/N - Like it? sorry its short andsorry if its gettin a lil worse than how it started out..i'm trying to keep it interesting, I really am! Thanks again and review:-D**


	18. Chapter 18 Watch you crumble

**A/N - Thank you you guys for the wonderful reviews! Ok so you guys wanted a court scene..I know I said I wasn't going to put one in here but ya'll wanted it so here it is..I tried okay? Just remember that..PLEASE forgive all the errors..but I did do some research! hopefully it pays off..once again forgive the errors and I hope you enjoy**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star or any of the characters cept for those obviously not in the show lol**

**Chapter 18 - Watch you crumble**

Today was the day. Jude would have to make a statement and so would lex. Would she be able to handle it? would she freeze up when she got to the podium? No, she couldn't.

"Jude, come on!" Stuart called from down the hall.

Jude wiped the blond locks out of her face and pushed them behind her ears. After looking in the mirror and smoothing out her blouse she was all set.

"Coming!" She grabbed her bag off the floor and headed down the hall. Yvette hugged jude and wished her luck, she would have went to support her but she had to work. Jude thanked her and then met tommy and stuart in the living room.

"Hey.." She said shyly. Tommy looked her outfit over, she looked so grown up.

"Hey, we better get going." Stuart said, interrupting their gazes.

"Yeah." Tommy held out his hand and jude took it politely, and with that they were on their way.

In the car tommy sat in the backseat with her, holding her hand and rubbing it lightly, trying to keep her calm and for the moment it was working. She thought about what exactly she was going to say, if she'd be able to go into detail, how could she? she was knocked out most of the time. Would they hold that against her? But, she was pregnant and that was on her medical records..she had never had sexual contact with any other guys so that was to her advantage, right?

Stuart pulled into the crowded parking lot which today had a bunch of people gathering with cameras trying to get a picture of jude. After stepping out of the car, tommy hurriedly walked into the courthouse with jude under his arm, trying to relieve her from the flashing. They closed the courtroom door.

"Thanks." Jude said to tommy who had a disgusted look on his face.

"No problem."

Stuart grabbed jude's hand and they walked towards the main room where her lawyer was suppose to be waiting for her.

"Hey jude! over here!" The lady called, gathering some papers and walking towards the trio with her suitcase.

"Hey, how you doin?" She asked once she reached her client. Jude shrugged nervously.

"I'll be okay." She assured. Tommy smiled.

"Thats my girl." The woman patted jude on the back in reassurance and then the four of them went over how the trial was going to play out. After a few minutes of discussing it people started to take their seats.

"All rise, this court is now in session." The bailiff announced as the judge walked in and took his seat behind the podium.

"You may be seated." Everyone did as instructed.

The room was silent for a few minutes and jude caught glances at lex that she wished she hadn't. He still had the same smile as yesterday, how could he be smiling at a time like this? She was aggravated already.

"This is case number 06-06233, Jude Harrison vs. Alexander Mainer." The judge read aloud from her stack of papers.

The deffense attorney stood.

"Your honor, I'd like to call my client, Alex Mainer to the stand." The judge nodded and lex walked swiftly up to the podium.

"Here we go." Ms. Levine (Jude's lawyer) whispered aside to jude. Jude took a deep breath.

"Place your hand here." The bailiff instructed, holding out a bible. Lex put his right hand on the bible and held up his left.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you god?"

"I do." The bailiff took the bible away and lex sat.

"Mr. Mainer.." The deffense attorney started.

"Could you explain to me what happened on the day of March 21st?"

"What day was that? I can barely remember last night." Lex asked sarcastically which got a few mutters and whispers from the jury. His attorney gave him a look that said 'Straighten up'. He got the hint and smirked.

"I was wandering down the streets of Toronto..as you know, i'm not from here.." Jude looked at Ms. Levine who was scribbling words down on a notepad which had a few questions written on it.

"Anyway, I came across this building that looked abandoned so I decided to check it out.." Jude wondered where he was going to start lieing.

"When I walked in I seen Miss Harrison fumbling with a window that looked stuck, it was open wide and Miss Harrison was trying to close it. Not a good idea when the glass is broken," He retreived a few giggles from the jury this time.

Judes eyes narrowed. That was the biggest load of crap she had ever heard.

"Anyway, I offered to help and of course she allowed me to close the window. Obviously, I cut my hand." He held up his hand which had a prominant line going across it.

"It was dripping blood pretty bad so I took off my overshirt and wrapped it around the cut..after it started to sink throuh I decided I'd better go get it looked at so I ran out into the street without thinking." He sat back against the chair, looking satisfied with his response.

"You made it to the hospital?" The attorney asked.

"Yeah, they gave me stitches." He showed the small knits going along the palm of his hand. The jury whispered again.

"Okay, so you weren't there when these 'Things' happened to Miss Harrison?"

"Of course not."

"Do you know anything about these things that happened to Miss Harrison?"

"Once again, of course not."

"Thank you, I have no farther questions your honor." The deffense attorney started back towards his seat and the prosecuter stood and walked towards lex.

"Mr. Mainer, is it true that you started dating Jude Harrison's mother a few weeks after the incident?"

"Objection! your honor that is irrelevent to the case." Mr. Mitchell (Deffense attorney) stated.

"Overruled..please answer the question Mr. Mainer."

"Yes, it is true." Lex received daggers from Victoria.

"And is it also true that you had an affair with Sadie Harrison, her older daughter?"

It seemed as though everyone in the courtroom looked towards sadie with surprised expressions on their faces. You could hear a pen drop in the silence of the room.

Lex cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Yes." Some people gasped, others couldn't help but let out laughs, jude on the other hand felt horrible for telling her attorney that. She was mad at sadie but she betray her which made her mad at herself.

Tommy sat in the front row beside stuart and directly behind jude. He had only wished that she'd turn around so he could transfer his emotions to her with his eyes. He knew they were going to win the case..they had to win the case, right?

"How did your relationship with their mother come about?" Lex smiled.

"We met unexpectedly, it was in the grocery store. We ran into eachother and began talking..from there everything just fell into place."

"And with Sadie Harrison?"

"Mr. Mainer?"

"Yes, um..when I met sadie we had an instant connection," He smiled at sadie whose face was red with embarrassment.

"We were left alone a few times and one thing led to another.." He smirked as sadie cupped her face in her hands trying to get her mother's burning eyes off of her.

"So going after jude wasn't enough? you had to go after the other Harrisons too?"

"Objection your honor!"

"Sustained."

Ms. Levine calmed herself down and began to pace about the courtroom, ending up in front of Mr. Mainer again.

"And didn't Miss Harrison walk in on you on top of her youngest daughter, shirtless and her jeans unbuttoned and below her waist? Can you explain that Mr. Mainer?"

That was it..lex had nothing to say in deffense, he didn't think victoria would crack and tell such a thing. What could he say to that? Things were about to go downhill from here.

"Um.."

"Yes or no Mr. Mainer."

"..yes.."

"I have no farther questions your honor."

**A/N - Tried to make this chapter long, what ya think? Do you like? Review ya'll! It really does make me feel better :)**


	19. Chapter 19 My turn

**A/N - Hey ya'll, thanks for the reviews! This is the continued court scene..I don't think its as good as the other one..but..hopefully its good enough? Keep reviewing! tell me what you think!**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Instant star or any of the characters..cept those not on the show**

**Chapter 19 - My turn**

"And didn't Miss Harrison walk in on you on top of her youngest daughter, shirtless and her jeans unbuttoned and below her waist? Can you explain that Mr. Mainer?"

That was it..lex had nothing to say in deffense, he didn't think victoria would crack and tell such a thing. What could he say to that? Things were about to go downhill from here.

"Um.."

"Yes or no Mr. Mainer."

"..yes.."

"I have no farther questions your honor."

After hearing this, the jury already had a few opinions of lex and some already had their mind set on either guilty or not guilty but, jude still had to make a statement. It wasn't over yet.

"Now, your honor, I would like to call Jude Harrison to the stand." Ms. Levine announced as everyones eyes floated and fell on jude. Jude cleared her throat and then walked to the stand.

After swearing by the bible the questioning began.

"Ms. Harrison, would you please explain to me what happened on March 21st?"

Jude fidgeted with her hands as she thought back. She nodded.

"I was at my studio alone..playing my guitar when tommy came by." She smiled at tommy.

"As in Thomas Quincy?" Ms. Levine asked.

"Yes."

Jude watched Mr. Mitchell scribble down a few things and then her eyes went towards lex accidently. He smirked at her.

"Ok, please continue." Ms. Levines voice brought her out of her trance.

"Well, we talked for a while and then he left. I was already having a bad day so..I turned on some music to get my mind off of things."

The prosecuter nodded for her to continue.

"Well, a few seconds later I heard footsteps so I looked over and seen..him in the doorway." She looked quickly at lex and then down at her hands that were starting to shake.

"He started to walk towards me saying something like...'Well well well, Miss Jude Harrison' So I said 'Yeah thats me'..after that he started talking about how I was out of G-major and.." Jude closed her eyes trying to remember everything.

**Flashback**

**"So its true, you're out of the studio, huh?"**

**"Where did you hear that?" **

**"Doesnt matter, fact is its true." **

**"W-what do you want from me?" **

**"You know..I always did have a thing for young blondes." **

**"Dont do this" **

**"Oh but why not?" **

**"You'll enjoy this."**

**End Flashback**

"I asked him where he heard that..and he said it didn't matter, all that mattered was that it was true." Jude squeezed her hands together, trying to releive herself from the painful memories but it wasn't helping.

"At this point," Her voice started to crack and liquid began to form in her eyes, "He had me pinned against the wall."

She wiped a stray tear from her cheek.

"I asked him what he wanted from me..and he said," She closed her eyes again. "He said he always had a thing for 'Young blondes'"

She opened her eyes and looked at tommy. She had never told him this..he had never asked what happened. Jude could tell this was killing him.

"He started kissing my neck and I begged him not to do it..but he continued and said, 'You'll enjoy this'and then he unbuttoned my shirt." She wiped some more tears from her face.

"After that all I remember is him turning the radio up loud and him pushing me to the floor..after that I passed out."

The room was silent.

"And after you woke up?"

Jude bit her lip.

"When I woke up everything was blurry and my head was throbbing. My shirt was laying next to me and my skirt was torn. I tried to get up but..I couldn't at first and when I touched my forehead there was nothing but blood." She winced at the thought.

"Once I got my shirt back on and everything was clear I remembered what had happened so I called tommy to come pick me up..he was the first person to come to mind."

"Why Mr. Quincy? why not your mother?" Ms. Levine asked.

"I was too ashamed." Sincerety shown through her voice. Victoria brought her hand to her eyes and cried silently.

"Tommy is always there for me..always has been so I guess it was just instinct to call him." Tommy hadn't smiled once during the trial. His thoughts were elsewhere and after hearing firsthand what had happened to jude, he didn't know how he felt. He knew he loved her more than anything and maybe this made him love her more, if it was possible for him to love her more than he already did.

"Thank you Miss Harrison." Jude nodded and was about to get up when Mr. Mitchell stood and walked towards her.

"Just a few questions, Miss Harrison." He smirked.

"Ok." Jude had an uncomfortable feeling around this guy as well as lex.  
"Now, it says here that you went to a clinic a few weeks after the 'incident'?"

"Yes. I did..tommy convinced me to."

"It also says here that you were not pregnant, correct?"  
"Well, they said that..but, I went to the hospital a few months later and found out that I had been pregnant."

"So, your assuming it was Mr. Mainers? there was no blood test to proove anything." He allowed the judge to see the paper he was reading from.

"No there was not, it was a miscarriage." She stated.

"Are you sure it wasn't Mr. Quincy's?" Jude clenched her jaw.

"Tommy and I have never been together, and besides, the doctor said I was three months pregnant."

You could see the sweat build on Mr. Mitchells brow and his jawline tense.

"No further questions your honor."

Court went on like this and sadie, tommy, and two different doctors were called to the stand, all in judes favor. Lex had barely any evidence to support his own statement. After a while the jury went into another room to make a decision and jude was finally able to talk to tommy.

"Hey girl, you did great." Tommy grabbed her hand and rubbed it lightly.

"Yeah jude..you couldn't have done any better." Stuart kissed her forehead.

"Thanks.." She spoke timidly.

"Look, we have this. Don't worry." Ms. Levine promised.

"K." Jude and Ms. Levine turned around to face the judge. Jude bounced her leg up and down impatiently watching the door, waiting for the jury to come out. Finally the door opened and the jury filed back to their seats, all except one.

"We've come to a decision your honor." The person handed a paper to the bailiff who took the paper to the judge. The judge read the paper silently and then closed it.

"Mr. Mainer.."

Mr. Mitchell and lex stood. Victoria and sadie held their breath.

"The jury has finds you.."

**A/N - So? Did it suck? Please review:)**


	20. Chapter 20 Is it over?

**A/N - Hey ya'll, I'm sad to say that this story is coming to an end..sniff..not sure when exactly but probably in the next couple chapters (Watch me get carried away and make like 10 more chapters lol) And I am sorry about the whole statutory rape thing. I didn't know the age was 14 and under but since I already have it I'm just going to continue the way i've been using it. Thanks so much for reading you guys and I really appreciate the reviews, keep them coming! OH! and omg, can you believe the finale? I was going crazyyyyyy! I'm gonna die without instant star..okay maybe not die but I will miss it so much! **

**(Sorry about they typos last chapter..I usually have a bunch anyway but last chapter was just unacceptable!)**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant star or any of the characters (cept for those obvious)**

**Chapter 20 - Is it over?**

"The jury finds you..guilty on the count of statutory rape."

Jude's eyes filled with tears as she hugged her lawyer. Sighs of relief could be heard all around the courtroom and then there were the usual groans and crazy outbursts from the opposing side. Mr. Mitchell threw his hands up in the air in defeat. Lex was pulled away in handcuffs by the bailiff.

"We did it!" Jude squealed. When she turned around she saw tommy, sadie, victoria, kat, jamie, and stuart standing in front of her, some crying and some smiling.

"Wow..you are all here." She tried to avoid looking at sadie and her mother.

"You were great..jude." Sadie was the first to speak.

"Thanks.." Jude replied as nicely as she could.

"So, jude, shall we go out and celebrate this wonderous event?" Kat squealed.

"Um, are we done here?" Jude asked Ms. Levine.

"Yeah hun, go celebrate." She assured.

"Then..yeah." Jude forced a smile and let kat take her hand and pull her out of the courtroom. Jamie and tommy followed.

"Women.." Jamie muttered. Tommy laughed.

Victoria bowed her head and scowled at the floor.

"Vicky, she'll come around." Stuart assured. Sadie hugged her father forcefully and stuart rubbed her back in a comforting way.

"Its alright." He cooed

-----------------------------

After they opened the door from the courthouse people crowded around again and cameras began flashing. Tommy, once again sheilded jude from the flashing and the four of them managed to get down the street away from the mess.

"So Miss Harrison, what would you like to do?" Jamie asked.

"Actually you guys..I was hoping to spend time with tommy, we really need to work on a song."

"After all that happened today you want to work on a song?" Kat raised an eyebrow at tommy.

"What have you done with my jude? the one who use to WANT to hang out with her friends?"

Tommy held his hands up in deffense and jude laughed at his gesture.

"Aw, kat don't be like that..we just..need to be _alone_ to concentrate." Jude smiled at kat.

"Alone to concentrate..oh..oh! ok well jamie lets go get some pizza or something." Kat pulled jamie down the street before he could object.

"Alone to concentrate?" Tommy asked, pulling her towards him. He wapped his arms around her and intertwined his fingers, resting them on her lower back.

"I'm sorry you had to hear..that.." Jude looked directly in front of her at tommy's chest. Tommy brought one of his hands to her chin and pulled her face up to face his.

"I'm sorry I couldn't prevent it from happening in the first place.." She smiled.

"I love you quincy." Tommy smiled back.

"I know." He cockily replied. She slapped his arm playfully and then backed away from him and grabbed his hand. They started down the street.

"My car is at your place."

"Yeah, its not that far from here."

"You want to walk?"

"Is that surprising?"

"Kind of..its a first for sure." He joked.

Jude glared at him.

"Calling me lazy, tommy?"

"Nope, wouldn't dream of it." Jude smiled. After walking for a while tommy decided to ask something he had wanted to ask before the trial was even thought of.

"Hey.."

Jude looked up at him skeptically.

"Yeah?"

Tommy tried to gather his words properly before speaking.

"Do you want to..talk about what happened?" He asked, promise lingering through his words.

Jude stared for a minute, trying to process this, did she need to talk to him about it? no, why would she? it was over with..lex was going to be put in prison and everything would go back to normal. Better than normal, she was with tommy now.

"I'm fine tommy, really." She insisted. Tommy watched her eyes to see if she was lieing, as far as he could tell, she was being truthful.

"Well just know.. i'm here if you want to talk."

"I know."

After that it was back to silence. The two walked side by side and hand in hand until they reached stuarts house.

"So, where do you want to go?" Tommy asked as jude, and he himself, got into the viper.

"Your place." She replied rather quickly. Tommy smiled.

"My place it is."

-At Tommy's-

The two walked in and tommy dropped his keys on the kitchen counter and then started to look through the fridge, his usual routine. Jude walked immediately to his studio and picked up her guitar. It now always stayed at tommy's because she was over there all the time anyway. She began to strum certain strings, trying to make a nice tune. Tommy bobbed his head to her sound. He already liked it. Here came the words.

_"Letting go.._

_Of everything that surrounds me_

_Letting go.._

_This will not get to me_

_Now I know.._

_Everything they said was true_

_I'll force another smile and deny the truth.."_

She began. Words were coming from nowhere. She hadn't been inspired lately but darius wouldn't be too happy if she came into the studio lyricless. The last few months have been rough and not very many songs had been produced.

_"How can this be happening?_

_I'm at a loss of feeling_

_Push me, bend me, I will not break.._

_Not till the last breath I take."_

Tommy walked into the room and continued to bob his head. Jude stopped playing.

"Why'd you stop?" He asked, walking up and sitting in the chair next to her.

"That was all I could think of." Dissapointment rang through her words. Tommy grabbed the guitar and pushed the 'record' button before he started to strum the strings and pick up the tune that she had earlier. He nodded towards her and she closed her eyes and started to bob her head slowly. After thinking for a few minutes she opened her eyes and told him to pick up speed a little. He did as he was told.

_"Who would've known?_

_I just need to let it go_

_Take away the pain_

_Who would've known?_

_I am losing control-_

_I'm breaking down and I cant lie_

_No I can't say I Love you-_

_Let it go, letting go"_

Tommy smiled and hit the button once again.

"I like it," He stated.

"And I think D will too." He continued.

"You think?" She asked, hoping he was right.

"Yeah..after we make a few adjustments it should be all set." He put the guitar back in its case and then walked out of the studio and into his own room. Jude followed.

She watched him fumble with clothes that were hanging in the closet.

"Looking for something special?" She smirked and sat on the bed.

"Nope, just want to get out of this outfit." She couldn't blame him, who would want to be in a suit? talk about uncomfortable. Tommy finally found something decent and headed towards the bathroom.

Jude took this to her advantage and layed on her side, comfortably on tommy's bed. She loved it so much, it smelled like his cologne and it even somehow weirdly felt like tommy..

He came out of the bathroom and watched her lay on his bed carelessly. He smirked.

"Comfortable?"

"Oh yeah." She turned to lay on her back.

Tommy walked over to the bed and sat down next to her, looking down at her. He had that look in his eyes.

She had wanted to be alone with him all day and here it was, the chance. They were alone and he looked so adorable. Her heart started to beat faster and she couldn't speak.

Tommy finally leaned down slowly to kiss her. Jude watched his loving blue eyes, which assured her that everything would be okay. She closed her eyes as their lips met tenderly, tommy did the same. They both got lost in the kiss that seemed to never end.

Jude sat up a bit so she could get to tommy more easily. He pulled her close to him and started to run his hands up and down her back. His hands slowly made their way to her waist and he rested them there for a moment before one of them headed towards the button of her pants..

**A/N - I can't tell..is it short? I know theres a lot of dialogue in this one and I don't think its one of my better chapters but I haven't had any good ideas lately so my writing isn't that great. Do you still like? Please review ya'll! and thankyou for your reviews so far:)**


	21. Chapter 21 Would I regret?

**A/N - Thank you so much you guys! I am EXTREMELY sad to say this is my final chapter..I'm about to cry..lol I had so much fun writing this and I can't thank you guys enough for reading and reviewing. You guys are awesome and I hope if I write a fic in the future..hopefully the near future..that ya'll will read. I was going to writesequel but a friend of mine said it wouldn't go right with this story, true? Well anyway Thanks so much! I love you guys! and please review this chapter and tell me what you thought of my story overall, k? hugs everyone THANK YOU!**

**Chapter 21 - Would I regret?**

He stopped before reaching the button and broke away from the kiss. Jude looked down at where his hand was.

"Jude.." He started.

She looked up at him and her eyes were shining as if she were about to cry.

"Yeah?" Her voice was so faint that he could barely hear her.

"We don't have to do this." He assured. She looked back down and grabbed one of his hands.

"I know tommy..I want to."

He was concerned and wasn't sure she was ready for this but she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him back into the kiss. He wanted to resist but it was jude and he had to admit he did want to be with her. Jude pulled him on top of her and he wouldn't be able to contain himself for much longer. He broke away again and tried to catch his breath.

"Jude..seriously, I don't want you to do something you'll regret." Jude, also trying to catch her breath, was now shaking but it wasn't noticable. She tried to push away the feeling, keeping her eyes on tommy's.

"Tommy, I want this." She assured, starting to pull up his shirt. He looked down at her hands and watched her attempt to pull the shirt off. Without thinking about it anymore he took it off himself and then took her mouth into his, eagerly. The kiss immediately got as intense as before and his hands wandered back to her pants. This time he wasn't hessitant to unbutton them. She felt the pants loosen around her hips and fear began to kick in but she wasn't about to show it.

He left her pants unbuttoned and his hands went to the inside of her shirt. His fingers brushed her stomach again and it made her shiver even worse but she hid her emotions well and tommy didn't notice. He only broke away from the kiss once to get her shirt over her head. After doing this his eyes met her's and he finally noticed her trembling beneath him and the pain in her eyes. He pulled away from her and began to back up on the bed but she grabbed his hand and pulled him back to her.

"What are you doing?" She asked, unsteadily.

"I shouldn't have started anything. You aren't ready and I don't want to push you into anything." He tried to keep his eyes averted because of her being topless. She had to be uncomfortable around him, being in just a bra and all.

"Stop tommy. I told you I want this." She squeezed his hand.

"You're shaking jude," His voice quivered. She had never heard his voice crack before..

"I want to be with you, but I don't want you to be scared of me, you should never be scared of me." He turned to look at her.

"Ever."

"Tommy, I do want to be with you, okay? stop being like this." Her voice quivered and her hands started to shake more vigorously. She pulled him on top of her again but tommy pushed her away, gently.

"Jude, stop." He got off the bed and pulled his shirt back on.

Jude sat staring down at her legs, they layed limp on the bed. She was still shirtless but she didn't care, she hadn't even noticed. A tear strolled down her cheek.

"Why don't you want to be with me tommy? is it because he was with me first? is that it?" She didn't look up once. She didn't want to see his face. He couldn't even respond to that.

"Is it because you wouldn't be my first? is that it tommy?"

He had to say something.

"Jude that is crazy, you know that is not it!" He paced along the side of the bed.

"Then what tommy? am I not good enough?" She finally looked up at him.

"Jude. You were shaking! you're scared."

She looked away from him and allowed another tear to fall.

"See, you are still shaking!" He grabbed her hand and pulled her close to him into a tight embrace. She started to sob into his shoulder and he just held her in a comforting way.

"We don't have to do anything." He whispered into her hair and she cried even worse. Tommy was too good for her. He was always so sweet and understanding and here she was acting like he was the bad guy. She felt horrible about everything she had put him through.

"I'm so sorry tommy." She choked into his shoulder.

"Shh." He managed to brush her hair out of her face, without moving her, and kiss her cheek lightly.

"We've got all the time in the world." He promised. She laughed out of happiness but the tears continued to fall. She pulled away from him and kissed him passionately.

"I love you tommy."

"You have no idea." He said and then kissed her once again, lightly before pulling her back into a hug.

"All the time in the world.." He repeated, smiling.

**A/N - Teary-eyed Alright..well..thanks once again and send me one final review! oh god..I am gonna cry...lol bye byez ya'll!**


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